Now Hiring: MMORPG Consultants?

The March 2007 dead-tree edition of Popular Science magazine has a feature called "Help Wanted: A peek at the classifieds circa 2017."

In addition to "Robot Personality Engineer," "Pre-Birth Design Counselor" and "Smart Car Mechanic," there's a listing for "MMORPG Consultant."

Doing business in the real world is so 2013. Our company needs a consultant to completely overhaul or massively multiplayer online role-playing operations. Help us create new product designs, improve our A2A (avatar-to-avatar) customer service, and develop smart marketing plans exclusively for the simulated-society space.

QUALIFICATIONS: An MBA with a concentration in virtual consulting is required. Experience redesigning next-gen corporate training programs and university courses is a plus. Physical location flexible.

COMPENSATION: Determined on a project-by-project basis, but motivated individuals can earn $200,000+. Additional MMORPG-only compensation and barter negotiable.

Via Glitchoris.

Real Player Avatars in "EVE Online!" w00t!

GamersInfo.net talked to Magnus Bergsson of CCP at the GDC, about upcoming changes to "EVE Online."

Most important: real player avatars!

That's right -- walking, talking avatars of your character. Not just the single head shot you made at character creation. And you won't be stuck with the avatar you have now -- players will get to go through the creation process again. Nice!

Also:
Vista, Linux & Mac clients this year.
They are very sorry about Jumpgate.

Linkage.

Does the Armory Violate Player Rights?

I've published my feature story on the controversy over The Armory, the "World of Warcraft" web page that presents a complete database of WoW character data.

Many players are complaining that The Armory will skew PvP results, and is a violation of privacy.

It is easy to imagine that the users of a service like “Second Life” would have both ethical and legal objections to the creation of a site like The Armory. “Second Life” players conduct personal business, and often live out virtual personal and sex lives through the site. And on sites like Facebook and myspace, users share their real personal information.

“World of Warcraft” is nothing like “Second Life.” While a small minority of players use WoW as a personal communications tool, it is not meant for that purpose. And WoW player profiles do not contain any personal data about a person whatsoever. How one prefers to play WoW is not private in the sense that what one checks out from the library and who one befriends should be private.

The players who complain about privacy aren’t able to present a rational argument, because they do not have one. I wonder whether they even understand the important arguments for privacy in the real world – they just have a gut understanding, and are now applying that understanding in a knee-jerk way to a situation that does not merit it.

Link.

Once A Jedi, Forever A Jedi

Wow... how awesome is it to live-out the fantasy as a Jedi?!!! I am in love with SWG again. I always knew that I loved the flying aspect, but the ground-and-pound drudgery of land-life never got me motivated to play more than a few hours at a time.

Zappp!!!

Click for full size (pops).

Yeah! That is one nasty Force-Lighting attack. And as you can see, my lightsabre is drawn as well. I colored it yellow as that was the same color sabre that I used in Jedi Knight II & Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy (the sequel to JK2). You got to craft your sabre in both of those games, and I can tell you that I have loved many gaming experiences in my life thus far, and "being" a Jedi is one of the most fun ever! So the fact that I get to continue this experience in an online, interactive world makes me really happy.

Well, that's all for now. Back to playing my young Padawans.

Faucon logging out.

How To Pick Up Women, WoW-Style

A guide to picking up women, explicated in the jargon of "World of Warcraft."

The reason behind the need to approach an instance such as a bar with a group and not solo is simple, almost all women travel in packs, especially in an environment such as a bar. (of course there will be some women who go to bars by themselves, but these will be considered epic bosses due to the fact that they will most likely wtfown you if you make any mistake in pulling them. And its a sad thing to see a man out in the parking lot crying.) Therefore any man who attempts to solo a group of women will soon be either zoning out of the instance, or having to make a corpse run back to his dignity.

Via qfocus.com.

Oops -- THQ & GW Announce "Warhammer 40K" MMO

Looks like I should read the actual text part of Penny Arcade, eh?

From the GameSpot interview with THQ's Kelly Flock and Games Workshop's Andy Jones:

Is there any concern at Games Workshop about creating a massively multiplayer online game that can gather a strong following without cutting into Warhammer Online's audience?

KF: I can't speak for Games Workshop, but based on the data we have seen at THQ, each franchise has its own, distinct following. Of course, 40,000 is the stronger of the two properties--I mean what could be better than a Grim Reaper beheading an Orkish Squiggoth?

Link.

Penny Arcade "Warhammer 40K" MMO Comic

Oh my no god. As much as I'm looking forward to "Warhammer Online," a "Warhammer 40,000" MMO would be so very, very much cooler. Seriously, Mythic - I will work for FREE.

Look, I even made a 40K MMO thumbnail. I am just that retarded about it.

In the meantime, here's the Penny Arcade comic that got me all worked up.

Linkage.

Welcome FARKers!

We would like to welcome all the bored Farkers who made the mistake of clicking on our ad.

Hello.

Here are some direct links to blog entries you might like:

Porn Star Photoshop Contest Results
The Top Ten MMO Excuses
The Complete & Updated List of WoW /flirt & /silly
Should Blizzard Sue The Makers of WoW Glider?
The "Jumpgate" Scandal: Can A Developer Really "Cheat?"
Second Life Proves It: Capitalism Is A Fraud
Why Do MMO Players Hate Roleplaying?
Ten Things To Do While Waiting For WoW To Patch

Feel free to look around and post in the fora. Yes, I just pluralized "forum" as "fora." Why? Because I'M SMART.

Maybe The New WoW Armory Isn't So Damn Cool After All

Well, maybe the Armory isn't so great after all.

Complaints are beginning to pour in from the PvP community. Some players believe the Armory stats give an unfair advantage to opposing players.

Others don't think the information makes a real difference in tournament play.

I'm collecting opinions from both sides for a feature article on Thursday. What do you think? Let me know in the fora!