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Washington Post: What's So Bad About Cheating?

2007-04-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

Mike Musgrove, Washington Post Technology Columnist, does not understand why cheating is bad. I hope his golfing buddies know that.

Mr. Musgrove doesn't get why we enjoy MMORPGs. Some people would say that disqualifies him from writing about MMOs. I disagree. Musgrove admits his ignorance. Then he thinks that maybe MMOs are only boring in the low levels, so maybe he should try a power leveling service.

He pays $24 to a Hong Kong gold farm to get his "World of Warcraft" character leveled to 20. Unfortunately, he finds the game just as dull. There's just no pleasing some people.

But even after asking around, he just can't see why power leveling would be bad. (He calls power leveling meatbots "proxy fighters." Isn't that adorable?) He quotes the absurd self-justification of his HK gold pirate:

"The practice is analogous to someone who maintains a beautiful garden but doesn't always have enough time to perform all the yard work himself, and therefore hires a gardener," [HK/Singapore gold farming firm IGE's chief operating officer, James Clarke] wrote in an e-mailed response to questions about the company. "Some purists might call hiring a gardener 'cheating,' but we believe most people are quite comfortable with it."

Uh huh. I guess some purists might think hiring a gardener is cheating, and most people are quite comfortable with gardeners. What does that have to do with cheating in a game? Does this guy really think most WoW players are comfortable with the idea that the lvl 14 rogue in their PUG is an underpaid Chinese sweat shop laborer? Should I not care that someone paid money to "accomplish" in a moment what I worked (well, played) hard to accomplish?

I've made a big deal of the fact that MMOs are not competitive games. I've suggested that MMO players are meant to share strategies and resources, and not hoard them. But this raises the question, so what if someone buys levels? Or gold? Or items? Isn't that just "sharing?"

The only way to answer a question like this is to ask, "How does it affect the game?" The kinds of sharing I'm talking about take place in the game, between characters. It's part of the game itself. Power leveling and gold farming involve transactions outside the game, between players, made for out-of-game benefit (money). That's what makes it cheating.

When playing Monopoly, I can state in front of everyone that another player and I are ganging up on a third player. That's not cheating. But if I steal money from the bank and pass it surreptitiously to the second player, in exchange for non-game-related favor later, that's just plain old cheating.

Of course, Monopoly is a competitive game with one winner. WoW is a cooperative game with no winners. But they are still both GAMES. And if you don't play by the rules, you're not playing. You're just taking up bandwidth that could be used by people who actually want to play.

I'm not surprised that a Washington Post columnist lacks the internal ethical compass to recognize cheating. He's probably one of those people who thinks that because Alberto Gonzalez didn't break the law, he didn't do anything wrong. Power leveling isn't illegal, therefore it must not be wrong.

Link. Via MMO Gaming.

LOTRO Announces One Million Open Beta Accounts: A Play In One Act By Kunochan

2007-03-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

Bilbo Baggins: Master Elrond! Master Elrond!

Elrond Halfelven: Not now, my little friend. I am composing an history of the First Age, that fails to mention Túrin Turimbar. So as to be less depressing. Also, the bit with the dragon is a bit much.

Bilbo: But Master Elrond! Rivendell is overrun by strangers! And they have odd, non-Endorian names, like "HarryPotter1217" and "Arwensaslut!"

Elrond: Yes, I am well aware, my Periannath friend. Naught occurs in Imladris without my knowledge.

Bilbo: But there are thousands of them! Many many thousands! Eleventy-hundred thousand!

Elrond: Ah, your Hobbitish innumeracy amuses me. But there are in fact one million visitors, Mr. Baggins. They have taken advantage of Turbine's "Lord of the Rings Online" Open Beta offer.

Bilbo: Huh?

Elrond: From April 6th to April 24th, anyone can get one of one million open beta keys, and play. Of course, one must purchase a copy of "PC Gamer" or sign up on the GameSpot website in order to obtain such a key.

Bilbo: I do not understand you, Master. Have you lapsed into Quenya?

Elrond: No, no, my diminutive gastronome. But my wife left me, and traveled into the West, 510 years ago. And the loneliness and sexual frustration may have driven me mad.

Arwen Evenstar: You're sexually frustrated? I'm 2,777 years old, and I'm still a virgin! And you won't even let me screw my boyfriend!

Elrond: My darling daughter, perhaps we can discuss this later...

Arwen: And I pre-ordered! When do I get into the beta?

Elrond: Why, today, I believe, my daughter.

Arwen: Oh! Nice! I bother to pre-order, and I get a one week lead on the rest of the planet! And my box hasn't even arrived yet!

Bilbo: Please do not fight! It aggravates my incontinence!

Arwen: And speaking of my box, I'm going to my room. I think the "evenstar" needs some "polishing." [Exits.]

Bilbo: Curses. I have soiled my trousers.

Elrond: Sigh. I should have volunteered to be King of Númenor. I would be dead, but I would be happy. [Exeunt.]

Link.

China Cracking Down on QQ Economy

2007-03-30T15:27:00.000-07:00

Via /., The Wall Street Journal Online reports on the Chinese government's concerns about the QQ coin.

Created by software company Tencent for their QQ instant messenger, the QQ coin is now used by many East Asian online service providers, including MMOs such as Tencent's own "R2Beat," as currency for the purchase of service time and virtual items.

Then last year something happened that Tencent hadn't originally planned. Online game sites beyond Tencent started accepting QQ coins as payment. The coins appeal as a safer, more practical way to conduct small online purchases, because credit cards aren't yet commonplace in China.

At informal online currency marketplaces, thousands of users helped turn the QQ coins back into cash by selling them at a discount that varies based on the laws of supply and demand. Traders began jumping into the QQ coin market as an opportunity to make a quick yuan off of currency speculation.

State-run media reported that some online shoppers began using QQ coins to buy real-world items such as CDs and makeup. So-called QQ Girls started accepting the coins as payment for intimate private chats online. Gamblers caught wind, too, and started using the currency to get around China's anti-gambling laws, converting wins in online mahjong and card games back into cash. Dozens of third-party trading posts sprouted up to ease transactions, turning the QQ coin into a kind of parallel currency.

It can't be easy, trying to segue from Authoritarian Socialism to Authoritarian Capitalism, at the very moment that technology is destroying both traditional Authoritarianism and traditional Capitalism.

Rink.

PS: You find the best things on the Internet. I was Googling "MMO QQ" to find out which MMOs accept QQs, and I found a scientific paper, "Naked singularities, event horizons, and charged particles," which contains the phrase: "when the inverse square gravitational and Coulomb forces are exactly equal, giving the condition Qq = Mmo..."

When Experts Expound on Things They Know Nothing About

2007-03-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

Via Poorer Than You, an article on CNN Money called "Second Life's looming tax threat."

The only "news" in this article isn't news -- if people in "Second Life" are making real live U.S. dollars, the government wants its cut. Snore.

But the article goes further, making the absurd suggestion that entirely virtual economies, like the one in "World of Warcraft," should be taxed by the U.S. government.

Riiiight.

Grace Wong, CNN Money staff writer, quotes Christopher Frenze of the Joint Economic Committee of Congress, who sensibly points out that "as long as virtual activity stays within the virtual economy, it shouldn't be taxable."

But there are always two "sides" to any argument, and trust the mainstream media to find the "dumbass" side. "As soon as you start looking at what's going on in these worlds, they look a lot like real economic transactions," says Texas Tech professor Bryan Camp. According to Wong, Camp believes that "profits that come from, and stay in, the virtual world are taxable." I hope that's a misquote.

As Stephanie from Poorer Than You says, "Unless the IRS is prepared to tax my Monopoly winnings, they should really stay out of this."

So is there really a controversy here? Is the IRS going to tax my WoW gold? No. Although Ms. Wong would like to imply an impending danger, she quotes an IRS rep:

"Any time someone wins a tangible prize or award, the value is reportable as taxable income. An accumulation of 'points' would not result in tax consequences, but redeeming or selling them for money, goods, or services would."

So, there's no there there. Thanks, CNN Money!

Link.

How NOT To Spam For Guild Recruits

2007-03-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

Here's a very cool little blog post on how to advertise for guild members -- and how not to.

DON”T USE ALL CAPS.
Do not load up your message with **l337** symbols and other crap. Your potential recruits don’t have time or desire to decipher, so just use plain English.
Stay away from over-used terms so ubiquitous that they are now meaningless. Ever seen anyone advertising for unfriendly, immature and inactive members? Almost all guilds are friendly, mature and active, so don’t use up precious space talking about it.
Use goood speeling. You may not care about every day chat spelling and grammar, but nothing makes you look more like a stupid n00b than spamming the same error over and over. Check it first then store it in a macro or text file.

PST.

April Fools on "EverQuest II"

2007-03-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm holding an SOE "Media Alert" that promises some kind of gag for Bristlebane Day, aka April Fool's Day, on "EverQuest II."

If someone sees what it is, please let me know. I'm curious.

"Matrix Online" Is Two Years Old -- You Could Have Some Cake, But There Is No Spoon!

2007-03-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

"The Matrix Online" is two years old, and SOE has announced an anniversary event:

Disturbing rumors are circulating about recent viral outbreaks inside the Matrix. This "Smith Virus" apparently appeared after pieces of Agent Smith's viral code were found inside the Matrix. Data Miners have located odd objects at the center of each outbreak; however, we have lost contact with all Operatives dispatched to investigate.

Reports have also come in of programs called "Smith Virologists" that have appeared near the various city monuments. When approached, they state that they carry a message from the Oracle. All available Operatives are requested to contact the Smith Virologists and obtain whatever information they can from the Oracle.

The anniversary event takes place March 29 - April 10. Get "luggable" items and new t-shirts; fight new NPCs, and meet The Oracle. The new update also allows you to make changes to your Residual Self Image, aka your avatar.

Update 50, containing the new content, was released on March 8th.

Link.

MMO Hackers Give A Pound of Flesh

2007-03-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

The Chinese version of Korean medieval action MMO "Cabal" has made an interesting offer to hackers.

Players banned for using cheating hacks can get their account back -- if they donate a pint of blood.

Over 120,000 players have been banned for hacking, and so far 100 have taken the company up on the offer.

Moliyo, the company behind "Cabal," made the offer to “create a civilized society, and enhance online gamers' appreciation of social responsibility and public welfare,” according to 17173.com(Putonghua).

Chinese hospitals have had trouble getting blood in recent years, after scandals in which donors and patients contracted HIV.

On a personal note, it's scandalous that U.S. hospitals have so much trouble getting blood and platelets. If you're not donating on a regular basis, you need to start. (The answer is "yes," I do. Platelets. Takes two hours. You get to watch a movie, and they give you a cookie.) And if you're not willing to donate organs, then you are a scumbag.

Via Boing Boing via Texyt.

The PvP Report #4: Think Different

2007-03-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

I've published my fourth weekly "PvP Report" for GGL, covering the WoW Arena Tourney scene.

In this column, I reply to Mahmood Ali's column criticizing WoW as a pro gaming platform:

I don't see WoW's "leveling requirement" as making it inferior to traditional pro games. I see it as different. Different from FPS games, different from RTS games. But not worse. It's just another way to play a game.

One of pro gaming's major problems is the supposed dearth of pro games. "Quake 4" sucks, so we're left with "Call of Duty" and "Counter-Strike," plus Q3 and UT. There's "StarCraft" and "WarCraft III" on the RTS side, both because they are well-balanced games, and because the Hangukin love them. But that's pretty much it.

Every time a new game comes along that might possibly add to the pro games stable, it immediately gets shot down by the community. Take "Battle for Middle-Earth 2," for example. Is BFME2 as good as "StarCraft" or "Warcraft 3?" No, it absolutely isn't. But is it good enough for pro play? Yes, it absolutely is. Would a new, fresh game breathe life into the moribund pro gaming scene? Yes, it absolutely would. (Should SC and WC3 play suffer, to make room for a new, inferior game? No. But it wouldn't have to.)

Is WoW PvP as good a pro game as any of the above listed? Let's take it as granted that no, it isn't. But would the pro gaming scene benefit from a "new" game, part of an immensely popular franchise, created by a venerable pro-gaming company, that pro-gaming n00bs would understand and appreciate? Only if it genuinely tested the skills of the best players.

Does WoW PvP test those skills? Yes, it does. And automatically rejecting this game from the competitive community would not only be (actually) elitist, but damaging to pro gaming as whole.

Check it out if for nothing more than the pic of me as Xerxes from "300."

Link.

Legiticorp's MMO pitch

2007-03-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

Regrets for not posting more, folks - but I'm in one of the original multi-player games, a theatrical production! No time for gaming, it's all singing and dancing for me. Still, this clip from "Attack of the Show" was topical and darned funny - clueless pitchmen trying to interest backers in their awful MMO ideas.

"Dragon Ball" MMO Announced

2007-03-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Japanese game site DBMania(nihongo) announced the development of an MMORPG based on the venerable anime, manga and game franchise "Dragon Ball."

The tale of a monkey-tailed boy and a collection of dragon-summoning magic balls was popular in Japan and America in the 1980s and 90s.

The game is expected for 2008. Using the Game Developer-to-English translator, this means you can expect it in 2015.

Via Japanator.

Join An Invite-Only Dungeon-Crawl MMORPG

2007-03-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

MMORPG.com is offering invites to "Dungeon Runners," a free invite-only fantasy MMORPG.

I don't know much about it, except that it's based on D&D-style hack-and-slash dungeon crawls. You know, like "Dungeons & Dragons Online" was supposed to be.

Maybe it will do a better job.

Link.

Hilarious German Web Terms

2007-03-20T17:31:00.000-07:00

This is from a translation of a German article, giving funny definitions of web terms. Definitely worth a read.

MySpace
MySpace was founded by the music industry and is the largest MMORPG in the world. Kind of like World of Warcraft, but the graphics suck. Everybody who can make up a nickname for himself may join. The goal is to add as many other players (called "friends") as possible to your own profile. The winner is the player with the most "friends". If you leave the game or get kicked out, you also lose all your friends.

Second Life
Second Life is a virtual swinger club for journalists. The platform is financed by the big media conglomerates of the world with the goal to replace editorial staff restaurants, work outings and conference rooms. And also to finally allow sexual harassment at work to the unemployed.

Via Hitchhiker's Guide to the Web.

"EverQuest" Is 8 Years Old -- That's 14,712 In MMO Years

2007-03-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, "EverQuest," the seminal MMORPG launched in the last millennium, is celebrating its eighth birthday.

SOE today announced an "Anniversary Edition" box set, for release on April 23rd. The box set contains the basic game and every single EQ expansion, including the most recent, "The Buried Sea."

On March 16th, EQ is launching a patch with tons of new content, as part of the anniversary celebration.

Of course, SOE sent out the press release, but hasn't updated any of their sites. This always happens. Even GGL does this.

Link.

Should An E-Sports Site Cover "World of Warcraft Tournaments?

2007-03-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've published the third edition of "The PvP Report" on GGL.com.

I list this week's top teams in Arena Tournament 5v5, and discuss whether an e-sports site like GGL should even be covering WoW:

PvE play may be a simple matter of repetitively launching macros (although relying on simple strategies will eventually get your character a ticket to a Corpse Run); but PvP players must adapt to the personalities of their adversaries, to their skill, and to their mistakes. PCs are unpredictable. A mob will always respond the way you expect; but a PC might do something brilliant, something inexplicable, or something just idiotic. Whichever, you have to adapt – and if you have committed yourself to the wrong strategy, you are screwed.

I also wrap up the whole The Armory controversy:

1. The Armory places women and children in danger. This claim is false, prima facie. The Armory data contain absolutely no personal information. A WoW player cannot be harmed in any way by another WoW player unless they exchange personal information.
2. The Armory empowers griefers. This could be true, although I personally doubt any griefer will make the effort to look up their targets on The Armory. Fortunately, Blizzard has included a feature that renders you impervious to griefers, called /ignore. And also fortunately, Darwinian evolution has included a feature in your brain that renders you impervious to griefers, called ignore.
3. If one player copies another player's build ideas, this is somehow "theft." Again, this is a community game, not a competitive one. If someone "steals" your idea, you lose nothing, and they are not cheating. Maybe it would be in another game, but that's not this game.
4. Guildmasters may strong arm guild members into specific builds. They can do that now. I don't think lying to guildmasters is the solution -- after all, the only reason to keep your stats secret from a guildmaster is so you can mislead him or her. No, the solution is to find a better guild.

Link.

"Lord of the Rings Online" -- Kuno's First Impressions

2007-03-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well, after paying the money to pre-order LOTRO, guess what? I got invited to the closed beta. I'm as happy as a little girl.

I may have mentioned this in another post, but I'm the original, unreconstructed Tolkien geek. I first read "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings" in the third grade, and I couldn't even guess how many times I've read them since. My favorite book of all time is "The Silmarillion." Yes, I've read all those "History of Middle Earth" books, in which Tolkien's son publishes his father's old doodles and tax receipts. I've read his biography and his published letters. I can name all 13 dwarves and all seven sons of Fëanor. I even (occasionally) write Sauron's Blog.

I loved the movies, although I can recite every single deviation from the novels, and explain every reference. I can explain to you the real reason Denethor went mad, where Gandalf went when he died and why he came back, and why it's significant that Galadriel turned down the ring. I can also tell you that Saruman didn't die at Orthanc, the Galadhrim did not fight at Helm's Deep (and never would have), and that Sauron is NOT an evil lighthouse.

So with my Tolkien bona fides firmly established, there should be no surprise that I've been anxiously awaiting "The Lord of the Rings Online" since it was announced in 2003 as "Middle Earth Online."

It's still in beta, and I imagine and hope that many of the small annoyances derive from that fact. For that reason, I'm only going to give general impressions at this time, and save any complaints for launch.

1.) I love that elf characters start their storyline 600 years before the events of the game, and arrive in the present after the initial tutorial level. Immortality FTW!
2.) All the players with non-Tolkien names annoy the hell out of me. n00bs. My female elf hunter is named Arthradha. Sindarin for "Beautiful Traveler," it's a name I researched for a Tolkien tabletop game a while back.
3.) The graphics look nice. But this is not the first new MMO I've seen with a metallic earth tone color palette. I guess giving everything copper highlights is supposed to add to realism, but it just looks strange to me. "Myst Online" is the worst offender in this regard, but games like "Ran Online" do it too.
4.) Some of the details are beautiful, and reveal the designers' dedication to the legendarium. Check out this screenshot:

At some time in the distant past, sunlight broke into this cave and turned this troll back into stone. Nice.
5.) When you get a quest, read every single word. Unlike in "World of Warcraft," you won't be able to just muddle your way through while ignoring the details. Pay attention to what the quest giver says. Seriously.
6.) Like the "Battle for Middle Earth" guys, the designers of LOTRO are eager to introduce new creatures not mentioned in the legendarium (but that don't conflict with it either). So far, all I've met are the Aurochs and the Cave-Claw Burrowers. An Auroch is a species of extinct cattle, and introducing extinct mammals fits well with Tolkien's conception of Middle Earth as our Earth's primordial past (as well as with the fascination Tolkien, an ardent creationist, had with modern science and evolutionary theory, which he felt it was foolish to deny). That's why I didn't mind the mammoths-as-mûmakil in the movie. As for the Burrowers, I found them really annoying. I don't find them believable, either as animals or as monsters.
7.) Thank Eru that LOTRO's wargs are exactly what they're supposed to be -- giant, talking wolves. What the hell was Peter Jackson thinking?

I'll keep playing, and letting you all know what I think. And when the game goes live, I'll complain about any issues that still exist.

Nai Valaraukar tye-mátar!

Super-Kewl "Pirates of the Burning Sea" Screenshots

2007-03-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

I don't usually bother to post screenshots from upcoming games, but these shots from "Pirates of the Burning Sea" are just beautiful.

I'm sure these were made on a top-of-the-line system -- but as long as they are real in-game shots, then I am very impressed.

Sure looks better than "Pirates of the Caribbean Online."

Clicks to pop.

Via Aktrez via Eekabeep.

"Second Life" Bans "Ageplay"

2007-03-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

Not that is was ever permitted under their Community Standards, but Linden Labs has officially announced a policy against "ageplay," sexual situations between child and adult avatars.

In-game venues dedicated to "ageplay" have been warned to knock it off by Linden Labs employee called "Chadrick Linden." Apparently, some players with child characters, who do not engage on "ageplay," are concerned about how the ruling will affect them.

Is this even necessary? Personally, I think if you get off on sexual fantasies about children, you have an emotional problem and need to seek help. But you're not hurting anyone, as long as real children aren't involved.

Will fantasizing about sex with children lead to real child molestation? I dunno, will fantasizing about Grace Park make me want to fuck a toaster?

Now Hiring: MMORPG Consultants?

2007-03-09T17:50:00.000-08:00

The March 2007 dead-tree edition of Popular Science magazine has a feature called "Help Wanted: A peek at the classifieds circa 2017."

In addition to "Robot Personality Engineer," "Pre-Birth Design Counselor" and "Smart Car Mechanic," there's a listing for "MMORPG Consultant."

Doing business in the real world is so 2013. Our company needs a consultant to completely overhaul or massively multiplayer online role-playing operations. Help us create new product designs, improve our A2A (avatar-to-avatar) customer service, and develop smart marketing plans exclusively for the simulated-society space.

QUALIFICATIONS: An MBA with a concentration in virtual consulting is required. Experience redesigning next-gen corporate training programs and university courses is a plus. Physical location flexible.

COMPENSATION: Determined on a project-by-project basis, but motivated individuals can earn $200,000+. Additional MMORPG-only compensation and barter negotiable.

Via Glitchoris.

Real Player Avatars in "EVE Online!" w00t!

2007-03-09T14:46:00.000-08:00

GamersInfo.net talked to Magnus Bergsson of CCP at the GDC, about upcoming changes to "EVE Online."

Most important: real player avatars!

That's right -- walking, talking avatars of your character. Not just the single head shot you made at character creation. And you won't be stuck with the avatar you have now -- players will get to go through the creation process again. Nice!

Also:
Vista, Linux & Mac clients this year.
They are very sorry about Jumpgate.

Linkage.

Does the Armory Violate Player Rights?

2007-03-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

I've published my feature story on the controversy over The Armory, the "World of Warcraft" web page that presents a complete database of WoW character data.

Many players are complaining that The Armory will skew PvP results, and is a violation of privacy.

It is easy to imagine that the users of a service like “Second Life” would have both ethical and legal objections to the creation of a site like The Armory. “Second Life” players conduct personal business, and often live out virtual personal and sex lives through the site. And on sites like Facebook and myspace, users share their real personal information.

“World of Warcraft” is nothing like “Second Life.” While a small minority of players use WoW as a personal communications tool, it is not meant for that purpose. And WoW player profiles do not contain any personal data about a person whatsoever. How one prefers to play WoW is not private in the sense that what one checks out from the library and who one befriends should be private.

The players who complain about privacy aren’t able to present a rational argument, because they do not have one. I wonder whether they even understand the important arguments for privacy in the real world – they just have a gut understanding, and are now applying that understanding in a knee-jerk way to a situation that does not merit it.

Link.

Once A Jedi, Forever A Jedi

2007-03-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

Wow... how awesome is it to live-out the fantasy as a Jedi?!!! I am in love with SWG again. I always knew that I loved the flying aspect, but the ground-and-pound drudgery of land-life never got me motivated to play more than a few hours at a time.

Zappp!!!

Click for full size (pops).

Yeah! That is one nasty Force-Lighting attack. And as you can see, my lightsabre is drawn as well. I colored it yellow as that was the same color sabre that I used in Jedi Knight II & Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy (the sequel to JK2). You got to craft your sabre in both of those games, and I can tell you that I have loved many gaming experiences in my life thus far, and "being" a Jedi is one of the most fun ever! So the fact that I get to continue this experience in an online, interactive world makes me really happy.

Well, that's all for now. Back to playing my young Padawans.

Faucon logging out.

How To Pick Up Women, WoW-Style

2007-03-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

A guide to picking up women, explicated in the jargon of "World of Warcraft."

The reason behind the need to approach an instance such as a bar with a group and not solo is simple, almost all women travel in packs, especially in an environment such as a bar. (of course there will be some women who go to bars by themselves, but these will be considered epic bosses due to the fact that they will most likely wtfown you if you make any mistake in pulling them. And its a sad thing to see a man out in the parking lot crying.) Therefore any man who attempts to solo a group of women will soon be either zoning out of the instance, or having to make a corpse run back to his dignity.

Via qfocus.com.

Oops -- THQ & GW Announce "Warhammer 40K" MMO

2007-03-06T11:13:00.000-08:00

Looks like I should read the actual text part of Penny Arcade, eh?

From the GameSpot interview with THQ's Kelly Flock and Games Workshop's Andy Jones:

Is there any concern at Games Workshop about creating a massively multiplayer online game that can gather a strong following without cutting into Warhammer Online's audience?

KF: I can't speak for Games Workshop, but based on the data we have seen at THQ, each franchise has its own, distinct following. Of course, 40,000 is the stronger of the two properties--I mean what could be better than a Grim Reaper beheading an Orkish Squiggoth?

Link.

Penny Arcade "Warhammer 40K" MMO Comic

2007-03-05T18:01:00.000-08:00

Oh my no god. As much as I'm looking forward to "Warhammer Online," a "Warhammer 40,000" MMO would be so very, very much cooler. Seriously, Mythic - I will work for FREE.

Look, I even made a 40K MMO thumbnail. I am just that retarded about it.

In the meantime, here's the Penny Arcade comic that got me all worked up.

Linkage.

Welcome FARKers!

2007-03-05T15:01:00.000-08:00

We would like to welcome all the bored Farkers who made the mistake of clicking on our ad.

Hello.

Here are some direct links to blog entries you might like:

Porn Star Photoshop Contest Results
The Top Ten MMO Excuses
The Complete & Updated List of WoW /flirt & /silly
Should Blizzard Sue The Makers of WoW Glider?
The "Jumpgate" Scandal: Can A Developer Really "Cheat?"
Second Life Proves It: Capitalism Is A Fraud
Why Do MMO Players Hate Roleplaying?
Ten Things To Do While Waiting For WoW To Patch

Feel free to look around and post in the fora. Yes, I just pluralized "forum" as "fora." Why? Because I'M SMART.

Maybe The New WoW Armory Isn't So Damn Cool After All

2007-03-05T12:12:00.000-08:00

Well, maybe the Armory isn't so great after all.

Complaints are beginning to pour in from the PvP community. Some players believe the Armory stats give an unfair advantage to opposing players.

Others don't think the information makes a real difference in tournament play.

I'm collecting opinions from both sides for a feature article on Thursday. What do you think? Let me know in the fora!

Leeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins Interview

2007-03-02T14:23:00.000-08:00

The Heroes of Warcraft: WC3's JaeHo "Spirit_Moon" Jang & WoW's Ben "Leeroy Jenkins" Schulz.

Back in May, my good buddy Carmac interviewed the man behind the legend, the World's Most Famous "World of Warcraft" Player, Ben "Leeroy Jenkins" Schulz.

Ben handled some tournament events for us at E3, so we had the chance to hang out with him, and he's a very cool guy.

I noticed that this old interview was getting some hits, so I thought I'd post a link to it here. Enjoy!

Also, the video link inside the story is nerfed -- this one works.

Link.

Epileptic Gaming / Mia Rose Photoshop Contest Winners

2007-03-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday on Epileptic Gaming #108, "Whorecraft" (here and here) star Mia Rose returned to judge the entries in the Photoshop contest.

You can check them out on the EG web site (some NSFW), but this was the winner:

The Many Adventures of A. Dora Belle - Ironforge

2007-03-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

Dora sings:My name is DoraBelle ... My minions? Straight from hell. Don't mess with this doll, pink hair and all. I'm a gnome and I'm proud and I sing out loud. MY NAME IS DORABELLE .... my minions? Straight from hell!

Hey there all you Azerothian explorers! It is I, your faithful A. Dora Belle checking in from the cold north!

Last time I came to you, I was on my way to the snowy Ironforge, where my dwarvy cousins allowed us Gnomeregon Refugees to stay!

Boy what an adventure I had along the way! I guess I have to start on a sad note. On one of the roads I was travelling, I came across a graveyard full of my relatives.

It was a sad reminder of the toll the war is taking on all of us. How many more of my brothers, cousins and sisters need to be taken before we can stop the silliness? Professor TinkleTop should create a device that causes a molecular combustion when the neurological membranes are triggered due to instinctual fighting tendancies.

/wipe tear

ANYWAY! On my trip I came across a camp full of my brothers and sisters! It was good to see some other gnomes for a change. While I love my dwarvy cousins, I'm beginning to tire of ale.

One of my Gnome brothers (and he was cuuuuuuuute) asked me to venture through a cavern and deliver a package of supplies to ANOTHER one of my brothers (and no, they aren't REALLY my siblings) on the other side.

Outside the cave I found a rollercoaster!!! I was SO excited to be able to shoot through this dark, scary, icky, mucky, dangerous cavern in a WONDERFULLY ingenious - very well created gnome invention. So, I jumped in and sat .... and sat.... and sat. I fell asleep for a while... then sat ... and sat .... and sat. Nothing happend.

Darn Gnome contraptions!

I headed in on foot. Through the dark, scary, icky, mucky, dangerous cavern - I defeated mean-and-nasties. When I emerged on the other side I came across the city where I was suppose to deliver the deliverables.

Back in the company of my dwarvy cousins I let my inhibitions free and joined them in a drink. This time, I managed to control my loss of clothing and simply enjoyed a little dancing!

After wandering back out into the cold country side (still a tad bit tipsy) I realized I had lost my way.

Where was this elusive Ironforge I had heard in legend!? I came upon a couple of dwarfy's and asked them to please point me in the correct direction. They pointed right behind them and there it was!

Behold .... Ironforge!

As I entered the gates of the city carved in the mountainside, I could not help but think back on what it must have been like when my mums and dehdee first came here after the destruction of Gnomeregon. How it must have felt like to my mums being carried on a stretcher through these very gates and past the giant dwarvy weilding hammers. What Dehdee must have first felt while trying to hold me close in the confusion.

I stood outside just looking at the statue for a while. Many thoughts raced through my head about my past and my future. Now I was at Ironforge. Maybe I would find my dehdee here!

When I snapped out of my zoning moment I realized I was standing in the cold and had a sudden urge for a nice cup of CogOil (that's like Gnomish Hot Chocolate) I headed inside the gates and found a man sitting on the floor. Well, being that I had SO much on my mind I felt that I naturally had to let it out so that I wasn't burdened down with all that muck.

So we talked. Well, I talked. He was just a nice man who sat and listened to me.

I'm not really sure at what point he had gotten up and left. Therefore, I had to find someone else to tell my story to.

Murky was a GREAT listener. He just stood there and licked my boots as I talked on and on about all of the things in my head.

Finally, I felt light enough to move on and I headed into the heart of Ironforge City. There was a CUUUUUUUUTE Gnome just sitting by the auction house. I took a little time to introduce myself. It was a quick conversation but, when I asked for his number, he gave it to me! Now all I need to do is find a way to contact him. I'm not too sure what 1337 means!

Once I got into the square I came across a party going on! What FUN!!! This was a GREAT way to make my introduction to Ironforge. I must say, there are definitely some INTERESTING characters that hang out in town square !!

I just couldn't control myself and had to get in on some of the action!

In the middle of the party, I saw a couple standing in the corner. Being the curious little gnome I am ... I ran up to see if they wanted to join us. As I was running toward them, the man got down on one knee and proposed.

HOW ROMANTIC-LIKE!!!!!!!

It was incredibly full day in Ironforge.

I visited a museum!

Saw some AMAZING Gnomish inventions...

And even met the KING!!!! (Although I expected him to be in a white jumpsuit for some reason!)

When the sun sat, I headed down the tunnel to jump on a REAL gnomish travel device - the subway!

The New WoW Armory Is Very Damn Cool

2007-03-01T19:05:00.000-08:00

I was so busy using the brand-spankin' new WoW Armory site to check out Arena tournament action, I missed the fact that it's a complete, publicly accessible database of every single WoW character and guild!

Here's the character sheet for my main character, Verthandi. And here is our guild, the Silvermoon High School Cheer Squad.

Once Blizzard makes it possible to embed a character sheet or gamer tag on your web site or in a forum, the functionality will be complete.

"The PvP Report" Launches On GGL

2007-03-01T18:52:00.001-08:00

My weekly feature, "The PvP Report," launched today on GGL.com. I'll be covering the action in the "World of Warcraft" Arena Tournament, right up to the global live finals event later this year.

With the launch of their “World of Warcraft” Arena Tournament, Blizzard Entertainment adds a third major game to the e-sports pantheon. While some FPS and RTS purists still scoff of the idea of a professional competitive MMORPG, Arena Tournament allows the best players in the international WoW community to prove themselves in official tournament ladders.

Although WoW Arena tournaments have existed for a while, this is the first time Blizzard has hosted an inter-server, worldwide competition with live events. With WoW's large user base and high media profile, this tournament stands to become the most famous event in the history of e-sports, in this writer's opinion.

Linky.

The Coming Spy MMO Glut

2007-03-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

If you've been holding your breath since 2000 for the sci-fi MMORPG "Citizen Zero," you can stop waiting!

It's been canceled.

Instead, Australian developer Micro Forté is working on an espionage-themed MMO.

Sony Online Entertainment announced their spy MMO, codenamed "Vista," last year SOE runs the "EverQuest" franchise, "Vanguard" and "Star Wars Galaxies" -- making their success rate 1 for 3.

A James Bond MMO is certainly an interesting idea. But just as "City of Heroes" quite literally features a city with thousands of superheroes walking around, isn't there something silly about a city with thousands of spies hanging out in it?

Then again, maybe not. Set it in Cold War Berlin.

The Top Ten MMO Excuses

2007-02-28T17:42:00.000-08:00

You've heard them all. Someone screws up a raid, or gets everyone killed at the end of an instance -- but there's always an excuse.

I've collected the top 10 MMO excuses, in the hope they can be retired forever. It won't happen -- but we can always hope, right?

If you're going to screw up in a game, at least think of new excuses, rather than trotting out one of these lame old-skool justifications.

10. I’m a n00b.
This isn’t an excuse – if you’re in the proper n00bie areas, and paying attention, your stupid mistakes shouldn’t affect anyone but you. But if you’re not just a n00b, but a howard – some 12-year-old kid lacking the emotional maturity to play “Wii Bowling,” much less an MMO, well, that’s no excuse either. Go play “Barbie Horse Adventures” until you're old enough to stop snickering at your own female avatar’s wiggling ass.

9. [Random Player] was supposed to give me [Random Buff] -- and the aggro got screwed!
The truth is, not receiving the proper support from your party members may be a legitimate reason for failure, not just a lame excuse. If the healer isn’t healing, the buffer isn’t buffing, and the brick isn’t pulling aggro, then you may get kacked no matter what you do. But far too often, players try to blame their own weaknesses on others. Don’t throw stones – if you weren’t pulling your own weight, then the failures of others aren’t an excuse.

8. Someone was spamming trade chat, and it distracted me.
Oh, please. If there’s not a way turn off general chat without losing party chat, then learn to ignore it. It’s called “concentration” – you can Google it.

7. Someone was at my door / I had to go pee. (tie)
Ah, the “IRL Defense.” Most real-life interruptions are not major life-threatening emergencies. They can probably wait until the end of a combat. And if you’re involved in a giant raid – well, geez dude, just plan ahead. Or maybe you can take up a game that requires less of a commitment. Like “Barbie Horse Adventures.”

6. My character was so much more powerful before the update / before he got nerfed.
Well, boo hoo. If your character got nerfed, it was probably too powerful in the first place. It’s called “game balance” – and since the game is supposed to be fun for everyone, and not just YOU, maybe you should quit your bitching and learn to play your character under the new rules.

5. My computer / video card / monitor is crap.
Well then, you have two solutions to this problem. First, find a second job / sugar daddy / winning lottery ticket, and get a better machine. Or second, alter your game play to fit the capabilities of your system. Plan ahead – choose a character with ranged attacks and spells that do damage over time. Get buffs that help other party members. Avoid direct involvement in combat. Set yourself to "follow" other players. And if your system is too weak to play a game, then don’t play it at all. Switch to "Barbie Horse Adventures."

4. “I’ve got chicken.”
When Leeroy Jenkins famously sabotaged a massive raid, his only excuse was “I’ve got chicken.” Of course, that’s not really an excuse; it’s more of a reason. He had chicken. That’s perfectly understandable, right?

3. I just wanted to see what would happen if I did that.
I’ve been overcome with the urge to do something monumentally stupid, just to see what would happen. And unlike say, climbing over the fence at the Grand Canyon or jumping down a garbage chute, conducting stupid experiments in a virtual world will not get you killed.

Just try your experiments on your own time, rather than when a party is depending on you.

2. That wasn’t me, my girlfriend was using my account.
Please. Like YOU have a girlfriend….

1. Lag!!!

If you have any other favorite MMO excuses, list them in the comments! There's no excuse not to! Heh heh.

Solving the Healer Problem

2007-02-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

Here's a cool blog post over at MMO Gaming about the Healer Problem, and how the folks at "Warhammer Online" are looking to solve it.

The Healer Problem (originally the Cleric Problem) dates all the way back from the earliest days of tabletop D&D. If your character can heal, then the rest of your group won't want you to do anything but heal. This is great for them, but can be mind-numbingly dull for you, the guy who plays the healer.

Being a “pure” healer will be an inefficient play-style based on how our careers are designed. The Warrior Priest, for example, builds Righteous Fury by dealing melee damage.... If the WP hangs back and just tries to use his baseline, non-fury abilities to act as a pure healer, he will suck like a diesel-fueled vacuum cleaner.

It will be impossible to “focus” on healing rather than damage, so players won’t be able to ignore combat healers in favor of “pure” healers because pure healers won’t exist.

Linky.

Arrrrr! Ever'thin' Ye be Warntin' Ta Know Abart "Pirates of the Burning Sea"

2007-02-28T13:43:00.000-08:00

Over at GameTrailers.com, a video of interviews with the developers of "Pirates of the Burning Sea" at the New York ComicCon. It's long (23 minutes), but it's got everything you need to know about the upcoming swashbuckler.

The most important revelation in the video? Ninjas.

That's right. Ninjas.

Emotional Azerothians - Males - Part 2

2007-02-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

See Part 1 of this post -- the ladies!

Ok, so I got around to posting them earlier than tomorrow! Behold the male /flirt and /silly.

RACE	/FLIRT	/SILLY
Night Elf	I hope you're not afraid of snakes. Wanna bring out the animal in me? I'm a force of nature. Baby, I'm mortal now. Time's a-wastin'! You're an emerald dream come true.	Who wants to live forever? What? I didn't hear that. Last night I went to an awesome stag party. I don't know about you but I can't understand a thing those Wisps say. I usually just nod. I don't mind the gnomes but I'm always worried about tripping over one Man I was halfway through the emerald dream when I had to pee. You know those ancient protectors in Darnasus? They're not that old.
Gnome	Hey, nice apparatus. I like large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate! Everyone keeps talking about beer goggles. I can't find the plans for them anywhere! I have a number of inventions I'd like to show you back at my place.	I do hope to find some interesting gadgets around here. I do love tinkering with things. You know, I really wish I had a garden where I could put a couple of human statues. I think that last vendor shortchanged me. Oh… oh... that was a bad one. I look bigger in those mirrors where things look bigger. I had an idea for a device where you could put small pieces of bread into it to cook, but in the end I really didn't think there would be much of a market for it. I'd like to give a shout out to my boys in Gnomeregon. Keepin it real - Big T, Snoop Pup and Little Dee's. Y'all are short but you're real baby!
Dwarf	Where ya from? Not that it matters. You look pretty, I like your hair, here's your drink. Are you ready now? Enough of this chit chat. Let's get to it then! You'd like to run your hands through my beard, wouldn't ya? Let's get on with it then. I've got a quest to do in 15 minutes.	I like my beer like I like my women; stout and bitter. I don't drink anymore. Course I don't drink any less either. Heigh ho… heigh ho … errr… uh… Second verse, same as the first! I don't have a drinkin' problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem! Oh, I'm just a social drinker. Everytime someone says "I'll have a drink" I say "So shall I!" ::Rip:: Oh... I'm havin' a wardrobe malfunction ::spring sound:: … Oooh.. There's me hammer! Ah, Winter… Yes... Winter.
Human	Hey babycakes! How ya doin? You're tag's showing. It says .. uh.. "made in heaven." Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? What's your sign?	A duck walked in to an apothecary and he said "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill." So, an orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, where'd ya get that?" The parrot says "Durotar! They got em all over the place" How does a Tauren hide in a cherry tree? He paints his hooves red. A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a tee pee… I'm a wigwam … I'm a tee pee … I'm a wigwam!" I said "Relax man. You're two tents!" Cover for me! I gotta whiz behind a tree. So, I have this idea for a great movie. It's about two gnomes who find a bracelet of power and they have to take it to the Burning Steppes and cast it into the Cauldron. They form the Brotherhood of the Bracelet. Along the way they're trailed by a Murloc named Gottem who's obsessed with the bracelet, and nine bracelet boogey men. It could be a three parter called "Ruler of the Bracelet." The first part would be called "The Brotherhood of the Bracelet" followed by "A Couple of Towers", with a climactic ending called "Hey the Kings Back!"
Draenei	You know, I had a girlfriend but I lost her in the crash. That is the bad news. The good news is I AM AVAILABLE! You know, what happens in Shadowmoon Valley stays in Shadowmoon Valley… Would you be offended if I said you have a beautiful transgoto. The other one? Ooh hoo. That's not bad either. I will now speak words of love to you in the language of our people… Oongwa Awgwau Eghee egleaahaec.	I love this planet. I come here, I see cow and chicken and ride little horses. This planet has everything. We did not realize, but in our language Exodar means "defective Electurd." You know, our tails add to our natural balance and agility -- ::CRASH:: We have it all figured out. Step one. We land the Exodar. Step three, we defeat Legion and go home. There is ony one detail missing… When we arrived here I lost many jewels that had been in my family for generations. If you could get your hands on my family jewels, I would be deeply appreciative. What do you mean there's an octopus on my face?
Troll	We trolls mate for life. Course, we believe in frequent reincarnation. Want some of my jungle love? I hope you're well rested. You're going to need your strength. You look pretty. Pretty tasty!	I heard if you cut off an extremity it will regenerate a little bigger. Don't believe it. Cookin's done. Stew here! New Troll here. I got a shrunken head. I just came out a da pool. I like my women dumpy and droopy with halitosis.
Orc	This is true love. Do you think this happens every day? I love you like a fat kid loves cake. Um… you look like a lady. Lady from the moment I see you I … I did not expect to get this far… That armor looks good on you. It would also look good on my floor. You have six different smiles. One for when you're angry, one for when you tear flesh, one for when you chew flesh, one for when you loot bodies, one for when you skin game, and one for when you want to kill something.	I will crush and destroy and …. ooooh shiny! It's not easy being green. Orc smash! Stop poking me! Well… that was OK. Man, Dog, it's like I'm feelin you but I’m not feelin' you... Ya know? I come from the orcs. We eat with spoons and forks. We love to eat our pork.
Blood Elf	Hey.. Why don't you come over here and … OOH… watch the hair! Want to see my good side? Muhahaha... That was a trick question. All I have are good sides. Your eyes are like the Sunwell. Before the explosion that doomed us all, of course. You look almost as good as I do. You know what I love about your eyes? When I look deep enough, I can see my own reflection. I know every rose has it's thorn but if you would just pour some sugar on me we could rock and roll all night and party every day.	Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot… like.. me? I'm trying to cut back on arcane magic. Look, I got the patch! The problem with these Horde characters is that they lack sophistication. ::fart:: So I was in line at the bat handler yesterday, with some undead guy in front of me, and all of a sudden he just lets one go. Didn't even try to disguise it! I don't know what he ate but it did NOT agree with him. I thought, what crawled up YOU and died!? We're allied with the Tauren!? Fantastic! We'll be having steak twice a week. ::sigh:: I could really use a scrunchie. Yeah you heard me! Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to … ghewwww… just give me some freakin magic before I kill somebody!
Undead	You have beautiful skin. No maggot holes at all. Don't mind the drool. It's just embalming fluid. I don't smell that bad for a dead dude, do I? If rot was hot, I'd be a volcano. Check my breath. ::blow out:: Is it bad enough for you? Once you go dead, you never go back.	Hey diddle diddle the mucas and the spittle. The corpse sank in the lagoon. The murloc said ::lick chops:: and the dwarf spanked the babboon. I can't stand the smell of orcs. I'm dead…. and I’m pissed! Anyone have any odorant? Either wet dog, fresh garbage or low tide would do. Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm dead and color blind.
Tauren	Are you comfortable with complicated machinery? Hey, you into leather? Hey, you work out? You mooove me. You know, older bulls really only have one function… Free rides, for the ladies.	Here's the beef! Mess with the bull, you get the horns! You know, Taurens are born hunters. You ever see a Tauren catch a salmon out of a stream? Really is quite exciting. Have you ever seen a Tauren stalk a python? 'Course you haven't. That's because Taurens are so adept at blending in with their surroundings. Moo! Are you happy now? Homogenized? No way. I like the ladies!

Emotional Azerothians - Females - Part 1

2007-02-27T16:20:00.000-08:00

Check out part 2 of this article -- the gentlemen!

I recently spent about 5 hours and sifted through every race/gender to collect all of the /silly and /flirt in WoW.

Below is the compilation of the Females. I will post Males tomorrow. ENJOY!

RACE	/FLIRT	/SILLY
Night Elf	I'm the type of girl my mother warned me about. Sure, I've got exotic peircings. There's nothing like sleeping in the forest under the moonlight.	Actually I'm more of a morning elf. I think guys just use the Emerald Dream as an excuse to avoid calling me back. You know, Wisps are actually pretty useful for personal hygene. Oh I'm dancing again! I hope all your friends are enjoying the show. You know I have to keep moving at night or I'll disapear.
Gnome	Your ability to form a complete sentence is a plus. At this time I think you should purchase me an alchoholic beverage and engage in diminutive conversation with me in hopes of establishing a rapport. I do not find you completely disagreeable. I don't feel the 1 to 10 scale is fine enough to capture subtle details of compatibility. I'd prefer a 12 dimensional compatibility scale with additional parameters for mechanical aptitude and torque. You are CUUUUTE.	You know, squirrels can be deadly when cornered. I apologize profusely for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused. I've discovered that being pummeled by a blunt weapon can be quite painful. Someday, I hope to find the nuggets on a chicken.
Dwarf	I like tall men. Enough with your flirting. I know you think all dwarven women look the same. I'll have you know I can flatten steel with my thighs. I'd like to see you in a kilt. I won't fall for any bad pick up line. You got to try 2 or 3 at least.	No, they're not real but thanks for noticing. It's like my father always use to say -- shut up and get out. I like my ale like I like my men -- dark and rich. I give myself a dutch oven pedicure every night. I've got no foot fungus at all. My toes are pristine. My uncle has brass balls. No really! I don't like to be underground. It reminds me of death.
Human	I need a hero. ::giggle:: You've got me all a flutter. My turn offs are rude people, mean people and people who aren't nice.	I can't wait 'til this quest is done and I can look for another Garibaldi artifact. I like to fart in the tub. I can't find anywhere to get my nails done. Why does everyone automatically assume I know tailoring and cooking? Do you ever feel like you're not in control of your own destiny? Like, you're being controlled by invisible hands�?� Me and my girlfriends exchange clothes all the time. We're all the same size! Sometimes I have trouble controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!
Draenei	The nights are so chilly on this planet. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Good, bring ample supply of butter and Goblin Jumper Cables.	Yes they are real AND they can cut glass. This planet has a tremendous supply of sandstone. The inhabitants must be wealthy beyond their dreams. How exactly do you crash into a planet? That's what I want to know. Why does everyone have trouble with the name of our people? It sounds just like it is spelled. Stop and ask for directions I told him but NO... It's interdimensional, he says, what can go wrong? Look at my hoof! Does this crack look infected to you? Single Draenei female seeks blacksmith with grinding wheel to take care of me and my gorgeous hooves.
Troll	When enraged, and in heat, a female troll can mate over 80 times in one night. Are you prepared? You're the type I like to sink my teeth into. I won't bite you where it shows. Aren't you going to ask me out? I know, my natural beauty is intimidating.	I got all this and personality too. If cannibalism be wrong, I don't want to be right! The way to a man's heart be through his stomach, but I go through the ribcage. I feel pretty, oh so pretty... ::spit:: Strong halitosis be but one of my feminine traits.
Orc	You had me at "zug zug." Don't talk, just follow me. I'll give you crazy love. Let's not ruin this moment with chit chat. I like men who aren't afraid to cry. Cry UNCLE! You'll do. Let's go!	Get between me and my food and you'll lose a hand. I have no respect for people with small peircings. I say go full hog. Put a spear through your head. Man, I think that boar meat's comin' back on me. I gotta hit the can. Anyone have a hearthstone? What's estrogen? Can you eat it? ::sigh: Aww... I need to get my chest waxed again. I feel very feminine, and I'll be the crap out of anyone who disagrees!
Blood Elf	I'm the girl the ESRB warned you about. No... No I won't do that -- but my sister will. I'm addicted to you baby. Is that a mana worm in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by again? My mana tap brings all the boys to the yard! Normally I only ride on epic mounts but let's talk.	Do you think the expansion will make me fat? I hate Thunder Bluff. You can't find a good burger anywhere! So you mean I'm stuck with this hair color? Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you they can't laugh either. I went to Undercity to get a facial. Have you seen these people? I said, you don't have a lower jaw and you're gonna give ME a facial? She got mad. At least, I think she did. You ever heard someone try to talk without a lower jaw? ::noises:: Ha ha...Oh... she SOUNDED like a murloc! So, I went to this troll spa the other day and I wound up with dreadlocks and a friggin' bone in my nose. I mean, come ON, who pays for that!? How can I miss you if you don't go away?
Undead	Nice butt. I don't need to get funky, I'm already there. I don't care that much about romance. I fell in love before and look what happened to me. I can't wait to suck the juice out of your eyeballs. Us undead girls really know how to have a good time because after all, what's the worst that could happen? One good thing about being dead? Biological cloc seems to have stopped.	I heard a kneeslapper once, and skipped my kneecap right across a lake This stinks. I'd paint my toenails, but I'm not sure where they fell off. Ahhhh doornails! You know, once you're dead nothing smells bad anymore. Rotten eggs? No problem. Dead fish? Like a spring breeze! I'm in a rotten mood. You don't need deodorant when you don't have any armpits. Yes, they're real! They're not mine�?� but they're real!
Tauren	Come over here, sailor. Wanna see some good clog dancing? I'm tired of the same old bull. I've got big soulful eyes, long eyelashes and a wet tongue. What more could a guy want? I want a man with soft hands. Preferably four of them.	You know how hard it is to get your groove on with the spirit of your great grandmother looking over you? Happy Taurens come from Mulgore. I once laughed so hard I milked all over the floor. In my native tongue, my name means "Dances With Tassles."

Check out part 2 of this article -- the gentlemen!

A Magnificent WoW Birthday Cake

2007-02-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

Check out the pics here. Niiiiice.

Q: What's Wrong With MMOs? A: "Vanguard"

2007-02-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

I liked this angry rant over at Gamers With Jobs. It was meant to be a review of the recently-launched "Vanguard: Saga of Heroes," but author Elysium couldn't bring him/herself to play enough of the game to write a real review.

Tired and redundant gameplay, barely interesting story, artificial environments populated with lame quests and an over population of sword fodder; I could be talking about any MMO on the market. The whole damn genre has run off the rails and become a parody of itself. Click the button and a gamer-treat rolls occasionally down the little pipe activating neurotransmitters in the brain that beg endlessly for more tiny little gamer-treats. So why pick on the little guy?

Fine, you want to know what really pisses me off about Vanguard; what voices me with the attitude that Sigil stole my lunch money? Vanguard sets a bad precedent for development and product release. In the months to launch Brad McQuaid made it very clear that regardless of whether Vanguard was actually ready for launch Sony, which had saved the game from cancellation following Microsoft's parting of ways, had set a firm timetable for retail, and come hell or high water the game only had enough money and time to reach that date. So, now that the game has released in its incomplete state, in a state that McQuaid himself describes as requiring patches, bug fixes and new feature implementation on par with a beta product, Sigil essentially comes to the consumer as the third investor in the process of the development cycle, and that is not just a terrible way of doing business, but an irresponsible step in the wrong direction for complicit consumers.

Via Slashdot.

Silvermoon High School Cheer Squad Is Now Recruiting!

2007-02-27T14:32:00.000-08:00

Our brand new "World of Warcraft" guild is recruiting!

Are you pretty and popular? The Silvermoon High School Cheer Squad is recruiting! Female Blood Elves only! Show your Sin'Dorei pride! Mail or PST our Dance Captain Aktrez, or Cheer Captain Verthandi for an invite! No geeks or freaks. Gooooooooooo Hawkstriders!

Becky and I started the guild on Korialstrasz, inspired by the female belf /joke and /flirt emotes. We're working on a web site and saving up for a tabard.

Click here for more info.

GOOOOOOO HAWKSTRIDERS!

Azerothian Pick Up Lines: Ladies

2007-02-27T14:02:00.000-08:00

The ladies of Azeroth are all vying for your affection. The night is young and you have 10 girls feeding you pick up lines. Based on the lines, alone, who will you be going home with?

Runing Naked Through Hillsbrad & Arathi

2007-02-26T20:46:00.000-08:00

My Blood Elf Warlock, Verthandi, got the succubus quest in the Undercity.

The first thing you have to do is go collect the hearts of two virtuous men. One of them hangs out at the Greymane Wall in Silverpine Forest, which is a pain in the ass because the area is chock full of level 20 humans, wolves and lycanthropes, plus a nasty 24th-level Son of Arugal that enjoys attacking from behind. Plus the guy you have to kill takes a really, really long time to respawn.

After I killed him, I had to walk all the way to the frickin' Wetlands to find the second time. This means you have to run all the way through the redundantly-named Hillsbrad Foothills, and halfway through the Arathi Highlands (I suspect that "arathi" is the Elvish word for "highland"). Parts of both these areas are inhabited by nasty 30th level mobs, and even if I stuck to the roads, I was likely to get attacked and killed.

So I just decided to sprint for it. And to keep my armor and possessions from getting damaged in an attack, I did it naked.

Here's Verthandi, running naked through the Hillsbrad Foothills, not long after stripping naked and leaving Silverpine Forest.

Look! Thoradin's Wall!

These Alliance losers are staring at my sweet young body. There were a number of rude comments from passersby.

Running, running, running.

Here I am standing in front of the Thandol Span, just before reaching my objective. I was only killed three times!

Back in the Undercity, I have slain myself a succubus!

And here I am with my new best friend! I call her Kitten (as in "Kitten with a Whip").

The Many Adventures of A. Dora Belle

2007-02-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

Dora sings: My name is DoraBelle ... My minions? Straight from hell. Don't mess with this doll, pink hair and all. I'm a gnome and I'm proud and I sing out loud. MY NAME IS DORABELLE .... my minions? Straight from hell!

Hey there all you Azerothian explorers! My name is A. Dora Belle (friends call me Dora).

I will be travelling the world of Azeroth looking for fun and exciting things to bring back to YOU, my avid exploring friends!

Today, I visited the chilly city of Anvilmar. Upon my arrival, I was greeted by one of my cousins ...

.... At least, I think he's my cousin... I mean, I haven't done the appropriate genetic research on it yet however, I've been told there is some kind of family connection. Have you ever seen someone that looks like THIS be a cousin with someone who looks like me!? I think Professor TinkleTop needs to design some sort of gadget that detects the molecular structure of genetic ..... Oh, you're still here!? RIGHT... RIGHT.. my adventures....

Anyway, my cousin informed me that some puppies in the area were causing damage to the property. He wanted me to go kill the puppies and bring the meat back to him for dinner. What a MONSTER!!! How could puppies cause THAT much damage to the property? It's made of STONE. Well, he was very forceful about it (I still have the bruise) So... I had to do his bidding...

/wipes tear from her eye

Poor puppy!

While I was out being a nasty gnome.... a group of Troggs decided to come say hi.

My milkshake brings all the Troggs to the yard!

It was all OK until they started showing me THEIR milkshakes ... so I bolted!

I handed in the evil meat (The blood... I can still ... smell... the BLOOD!!) and decided to go into the city for a little R&R.

I sat down next to a dwarfy and we began having a GREAT conversation about Quantum Physics (although, dwarfy was kind of shy and didn't talk much..) Then, he piped in with an invitation to drink with him.

Well... when in ROME!

Unfortunately things got a TAD out of hand

I ended up being walked out by the gaurds.

What a fun day in Anvilmar!! Next stop: IRONFORGE

More from the Cheat-o-sphere -- Blizzard Sues WoW Glider

2007-02-19T15:28:00.000-08:00

Blizzard Entertainment is taking legal action against the site that sells WoW Glider, a bot program that basically plays WoW for you. I learned about this from a rambling post over on Markee Dragon, a site that links to various bots, cheatware and gold famers.

I didn't know about the WoW Glider situation because, of course, I don't cheat. Hell, I feel guilty when I use the "World of Warcraft Atlas."

Again a games developer is using? abusing? copyright law to control how its game is used. And again, I am torn. I don't like publishers bullying gamers into using a product a specific way.

But I really, really don't like cheaters.

WoW Glider sits and plays WoW while you are not at your computer, following a complex set of instructions. Some people think this isn't cheating, since the user is not manufacturing illicit items or making walls invisible. After all, it's just a more advanced example of the macros Blizzard lets you create, right? Right?

I'm not a lawyer. Avataritoria's Paul Ang, who went to law school, always tells me there are no good or bad lawsuits -- you either win or you don't. This is a very lawyerly thing to think. He also reminds me often that the law has nothing to do with what's right and what's wrong. Also very lawyerly.

I have no doubt Blizzard will prevail in this legal action, since the current climate in law and politics is slavishly servile to corporate interests over fair use. But should Blizzard win? Do they have a point?

1.) Blizzard accuses WoW Glider of violating its intellectual property rights. This may be valid under the law, but it's bogus in reality. Intellectual property law was invented to protect the right of artists to make money off their creative labor. It was not intended to prevent anybody else on Earth from ever making money off your labor ever, or to keep your ideas from being used in ways that annoy you or make your life harder. Intellectual property law has been amended to include these things, but it should not have been -- fair use, a vital part of cultural development, has been hobbled and nearly eliminated as a result.

2.) Blizzard says that WoW Glider encourages users to violate the WoW Terms of Service. This is undeniably true, but I have two problems with it. First, I have no interest in non-negotiable boilerplate contracts that strip all of my rights as a consumer, and permit a corporation to change any provision they wish at any time. I'm not aware of any particular instance of Blizzard abusing their EULA, but cell phone companies do it all the time. The potential for abuse is enormous.

My other problem is, "yeah, so what?" WoW Glider permits users to break the rules. That makes the cheater the problem, not the cheat bot. WoW Glider has no legitimate use, to my knowledge -- but the EULA isn't violated until you log in and use it. Lots of people want to make bongs, lock picking kits and hack programs illegal, but I don't. It's not wrong to have the tool, it's wrong to use it, and the distinction is important. (I'm well aware this goes against my long-held views on gun control; but guns kill people, and serve no other purpose at all, ever. I resent the idea of a device someone can point at me, press a button, and I'm dead.)

3.) Blizzard has pointed out that going after WoW Glider users and banning them costs Blizzard money. Yeah, well, boo hoo. As a paying, non-cheating WoW player, that's why I pay you guys. Going after bot creators will never stop the creation of bots, any more than napalming cocaine farms cures drug addiction.

This all makes it sound like I support WoW Glider and oppose Blizzard. This is absolutely not true. I'd love to see cheatbots eradicated from the Earth, or at least from Azeroth. Players who cheat are scumbags. (I have respect for the people who break something like WoW apart, figure out how it works, and find all the hacks. But again, there's a sharp clear line between hacking the game out of curiosity, and using that knowledge to ruin the game for everyone.)

But using the law to eliminate cheating makes me very nervous, not because Blizzard is doing harm, but because they may set precedents that will allow others to do harm. I'd really rather Blizzard stuck to finding cheaters and banning them.

That said, you won't find me donating any money to WoW Glider's legal defense.

Good News For Cheaters, Bad News For People Who Actually PLAY

2007-02-16T13:52:00.001-08:00

I wrote recently about eBay's bannination of most sales of in-game items. Of course, someone has rushed to fill the vacuum of pure evil.

Sparter bills itself as a "gold escrow service," allowing "gamer 2 gamer" in-game item sales. I suppose if the sales were really gamer to gamer, this would be bad, but not reprehensible -- paying real cash for items in a game like "World of Warcraft" is cheating, but at least it would be small scale cheating between actual gamers.

But you know this is a just a front for the gold farmers. Oh well, it's pretty much impossible to put a stop to activity like this. If idiots want to pay money to cheat, they will do it. And the assholes at Sparter will continue to make money of it.

Via arstechnica.

A Naked Jedi Is Better Than No Jedi

2007-02-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

As I hope you noticed... my screen shots are taken at 1600x900 pixel-resolution. That's a dead-give-away for a large, Wide-screen monitor. I play the game in borderless window mode so that I can surf the web on my 2nd monitor and still see what's going on in the game. If you play MMOs, this is the ideal setup. Two monitors... one larger one for the game, and one smaller screen for ADD-style entertainment. I usually read the news, but I like keeping up with the gaming blog Destructoid.com.

Click for full size (pops).

So this shot is from the Moenia Starport. My ship is the same as Boba Fett's; in fact, I even named it "Boba's Fete". It's a play on the French word for "party." It's technically a Fire-Spray Class Starship. By SWG standards, it's a heavy fighter. It can hold over 200,000 Mass units of components. I love this ship! It's my 6th ship in the game, and it's the ultimate "Privateer" ship. Privateers are like neutral star-pilots... like Han Solo. Nee and I both roll as neutral pilots, although we tend to help out the Rebel Alliance way more than the Imperials. As I play more during the coming weeks, I'll take more shots of Nee and I in space-combat action.

We had recently flown to Kashyyyk, the Wookies' home planet, to complete a few legacy quests. Here's a cool shot of us riding just beyond the Kachiro gate and then inbetween two large Banthas.

Click for full size (pops).

I love Nee's speeder. We had zoomed past the Banthas, but I thought it was a neat shot.

The other odd tidbit from last weekends newly revitalized play was that at some point, my character found himself nearly naked. My brother, Nee Cheerioz, is a Jedi Knight. He claims to be so elite that only 3 bounty hunters in the entire Shadowfire server can beat him. I believe him, as I've seen quite a few surprise attacks where n00bish bounty hunters, who may be the same ultimate level as Nee (level 90), suffer the fate that you would expect when attacking a Jedi Knight: death! If only it were permanent (but that's a gripe for a future entry).

So yes, why was I half-naked on Corellia talking to an NPC with Nee standing beside me?

Click for full size (pops).

Well, that's no ordinary NPC. She was a "Profession Counselor." She allowed me to change from the medic profession to the Jedi profession. Yes, I personally felt a calling to the force and have begun my tutelage under the guidance of the Elder Jedi, Nee Cheerioz.

Click for full size (pops).

Nee loves it, of course, because I keep calling him "master." I'm still a mid-level player though, just about to transition to level 44, but I'm much happier now as a Jedi apprentice. I crafted my first lightsabre, which I will show off in the next entry... so stay tuned!

Faucon out.

A New MMO -- Something Different This Time!?

2007-02-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

We have fallen on hard times, my MMO loving friends. Over the past few years it seems that our Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying games have well ... massively sucked! While there is of course the small exceptions (a small exception called "Warcraft"), overall our MMOs have produced rip offs of one another and disappointing game play.

I'm sorry, I don't want to kill an Orc again.
I'm sorry, Mechs are not my friends.

With two new upcoming MMOs - "Pirates of the Burning Sea" and "Sword of the New World" - we finally get new storylines and some innovative game play.

I discovered "Sword of the New World" today and I actually find it to be a very interesting concept.

The buildings are all colonnades, domes, and elaborate staircases -- even the background music is influenced by the period. The characters resemble more of a "Lineage" or FFXI sort of feel than what we have been used to seeing with the more cartoon-like WoW and "City of Heroes."

One of the unique features of "Sword of the New World" is the Multi-Character Control system. Players will be able to create an entire family of characters to play with. Each family can have up to four members, and the members will carry the family surname. Best of all, you can take up to three family members out in a party at the same time. For people who can't decide on any one class to focus on, now you can level up three at once. While I'm not 100% sure how well I would do trying to level 3 at once, it is definitely an interesting choice!

Now, for those of you who are interested in PVP - how does 3 different levels of PvP sound to you? In SotNW, they introduce not only one on one PvP but Faction PvP and also city/family PvP. Just more people to pwn on your nightly outings.

From the screens that I have seen thus far, the costumes and buildings look amazing. You are also able to get stances for your characters. For example, if I continually practice the healing stance, I will level up healing.

This also makes for some wonderful screenshots and subsequently wonderful Photoshop work! :p

I will be watching this game very closely. At this time, it is slated to launch in summer of 2007. Who knows if this is the game to rival the World of Warcrack ... but I give credit for the uniqueness of this upcoming MMO.

Happy Valentine's Day! Eg Elska Thig!

2007-02-15T16:19:00.000-08:00

Click to enlarge (pops).

RPG Designer hates RPGs

2007-02-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

Today in RPG Vault, Jeff Vogel, a game designer who's been making shareware RPG's with his three-nerd crew at Spiderweb Software, lays it out on just why he hates RPG's. It's a long column because he's got a lot of bile; so much so that this is the first of two columns, but here are a couple of snippets -

But the fundamental, unifying quality of pretty much all fantasy RPGs is that you start out as a puny loser, barely able to flush a toilet with both hands, and then you train and practice and work until you are a certifiable badass. And how does the game simulate this learning process? By reaching out and grabbing a gigantic, triple helping of your time.

In a shooter, you start out as a hero, and you do hero things, so you can have a shooter that lasts 10 hours. In a fantasy RPG, you also have to spend all the time learning to be a hero. An RPG that lasted 10 hours wouldn't make sense.

As much as I loves me some RPG's, I can't help but agree with some of his points. And the best RPGs will address exactly that - take for instance one of my personal favorites, Knights of the Old Republic. In it, you start out as a bad-ass space hero, and progress right on up to Jedi, and then on to basically galaxy-shattering powerhouse. And yup, that's what make it fun, in part - in real life I could kick rats and sell their teeth (if anyone would buy them) but that's nowhere near as cool as raising a hand Jedi-style and watching everyone around me go flying like they'd been shot out of a cannon. Plus, I still have a crush on Bastila. (Call me, Babe!)

Fortunately, gaming is an evolving hobby and industry, so we can hope that the current model of developers-first, creatives-second gets turned on its head. Eye-popping graphics are groovy, to be sure - but nowhere near as compelling as a tight narrative that draws the player in and emotionally hooks him on the story. How many times have you seen a witless movie-franchise game that looked great but was zero fun to play? Now name your top five games of all times, and ask yourself if any of them didn't have a great story.

With outspoken developers like Vogel, maybe we'll see the ascendancy of substance over style come to pass sooner, rather than later.

And then maybe your mom will soar overhead riding a flying pig. (Or Bastila will call me.)

Blizzard Announces "World of Warcraft" Tournaments

2007-02-14T17:48:00.000-08:00

Mahmood Ali has the details over at GGL.

Blizzard has announced its inaugural season of the World of Warcraft Arena Tournament, which will pit player-vs-player teams against another in an effort to find the best PVP team in the world.

The tournament is scheduled to begin in just two days time (Feb. 16th) in Europe and North America, and March 3rd in Korea. The best ranked teams from each region will fight it out on private realms and then advance to regional finals, after which they will advance to the Global Finals.

YellOw Pimps for Blizzard

2007-02-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

China's Yu "YellOw" BaoHui, "Warcraft III" cyberathlete for Team MeetYourMakers, has apparently been drafted by Blizzard for a Korean ad campaign promoting "Burning Crusade."

I wonder if he even plays WoW?

Click to enlarge.

See more images at TeamLiquid.net.

Practice Your Rite of Pants -- WoD MMO On The Way!

2007-02-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

I am old veteran of the White Wolf "World of Darkness" live action and tabletop roleplaying games. I certainly believe that "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" was one of the best RPGs ever written.

So I was as interested as I was mystified when Icelandic game company CCP, creators of "EVE Online," merged with White Wolf. It just seems like an odd combination. But I want to see what they're going to do.

The first thing, it seems, is the obvious one: a WoD MMO. This could be a fantastic idea if the game is role-play centered rather than combat-centric. Kindred and Garou spend a lot of time fighting, but the real heart of a WoD game is in the politics and the social interaction. If CCP could find a way to recreate the different cities, a la the Camarilla Fan Club, that would be great too.

The World of Darkness is a huge milieu, so we'll have to see what they center on. Unfortunately, I'm sure the MMO will take place in the "new" World of Darkness, not the old setting with which I am familiar. Here's some advice for CCP, which I'm sure you won't take -- pay Mark Rein·Hagen the damn money, and use the old World of Darkness!

My one year of college Icelandic didn't stick with me very well, so here's mogarmy.net's translation of the original press release:

The Icelandic game developer CCP will be developing a new massively multiplayer online computer game called World of Darkness. The game will be developed along with White Wolf, the board game company CCP merged with last year.

The setting of the game will be World of Darkness, a world inhabited by vampires and werewolves. White Wolf created said world and has written stories and books that take place there.

Halldór Fannar Guðjónsson, one of CCP's programmers, couldn't give any more details on the game, but said its development will begin in the next few months.

CCP owns an operates the Icelandic massively multiplayer online game "EVE Online" which currently has over 180,000 subscribers.

I'd like to point out that White Wolf has never produced a board game; they make tabletop RPGs, LARPs, video games and novels.

It's Alive!!! Faucon's Computer Runs Again

2007-02-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

Finally, my computer is up and running. It took one hour of power-supply transplant surgery, but my patient, an Athlon 64 3700+ (socket 754 Clawhammer core) mated to a DFI Lanparty UT nForce3 250Gb motherboard with 2GB of CAS Latency 2 (2-3-2-5 1T) PC 3200 Patriot RAM (GO USA!!!), 4 hard drives (1x 74GB Wester Digital Raptor drive; 1 160GB Western Digital PATA drive, and 2x 320GB in a RAID 0), and a GeForce 6800 Ultra (Engineering Sample), is recovering nicely.

The key here was the video card. Since it's an engineering sample, it takes more wattage than the retail 6800 Ultras (350Watt power supply recommended versus 480Watt PSU). My previous power supply was just a regular 430Watt baby-beast. The new one, however, churns out a healthy 520Watts. To complicate matters, the 6800 Ultra requires 2 Molex power connectors with a decent amount of amps supplied to each connector. With my new Corsair PSU (from www.newegg.com) I get over 50 Amps of juice from a total of 3 independent +12Volt rails!... more than enough for the 4 hard drives, 2 DVD-RW drives, video card and other components. Yay! Computer's alive again!

My parts are dated, though, as they were all top-of-the-line 2 and half years ago. I don't really care... as my computer is quiet and hauls balls (as djRoME would say). I have SWG loaded onto the RAID 0 (that has a combined cache of 32MB). The game loads very quickly, but what's best, is that the transition between levels is about 5 seconds. My computer from 2 & half years ago would take about 40 seconds. The RAM helps too. Anyway... enough of this tech-talk. Let's get down with the game.

As you should know by now, I play SWG (Star Wars Galaxies) with my brother. We are part of the Cheerioz family, with my brother going by Nee and myself going by Faucon. That's French for Falcon. I was inspired by the short story from 1829 by Prosper Mérimée. It's a story that takes place on Corsica, an island to the south of France, that I really loved visiting almost 5 years ago. Anyway, my SWG name comes from Mérimée's "nouvelle".

Click for full size (pops).

Here, you can see a picture of Nee and I at our Cheerioz estate, near Moenia on the planet Naboo. My brother and I are about to head out on a "Legacy" quest.

Click for full size (pops).

Here's another shot of us riding in Nee's 2-person transport. Lots of trees on Naboo, especially around Moenia... which is in a swampy part of the planet.

Anyway, "Legacy" quests are the SWG version of a story-driven arc. They lead you throughout the galaxy and often times require some flying in order to complete the missions. You get a chance to meet many people from the books & movies, which is one of the things that I find so exciting about SWG versus other MMOs out there. Also, as you should know, flying is my favorite part of this game. In my next entry, I'll be explaining more about my ship and will tell you why... for some reason... I have a screenshot of my character with almost no clothes on!

Until then, this is Faucon, logging off.

The "EVE Online" "Jumpgate" Scandal: Can a Developer Really "Cheat?"

2007-02-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;I'm often amazed by the strange, unexpected ways in which MMO virtual worlds mirror the real world, and incite people to exaggerated forms of the behavior we see IRL.

The ongoing(?) "Jumpgate" scandal in "EVE Online" illustrates the most common lesson of modern politics -- the cover up is always worse than the crime.

Without going into the tedious details, it seems that at least one "EVE Online" developer was cheating, using his "powers" as a developer to provide serious advantages for his friends in-game. This, and other alleged misconduct, was discovered by a player who operated as a spy in-game, finding ways to get into private "corporate" and "alliance" message boards, and then selling the information he found to competing corporations.

From what I understand (I am still an EVE n00b), the spy player, who calls himself Kugutsumen after a villain from the tentacle-porn anime "La Blue Girl," performed his espionage activities without cheating, through bribery and social engineering. But all of his accounts were permanently banned when he brought his evidence of cheating to the EVE community.

CCP, the Icelandic company that runs EVE, was reticent to take any action, but their hand was forced by outrage in the community. One core developer called t20 fell on his sword, and admitted to wrongdoing. Now some community members are calling for his firing.

I have a couple of thoughts on this situation.

1.) I don't believe for a second that everyone at CCP didn't know what everyone else was doing. When they got caught, the response should have been honest, straightforward, and immediate. Trying to cover up a scandal never, ever works; and people can be very forgiving when you step up and admit "my bad."

Also, never shoot the messenger. CCP is mad at Kugutsumen because he went straight to the community, instead of privately reporting his suspicions to CCP. Kugutsumen got this email from lead GM Grimmi:

It can be said with some fairness that the posts you made have caused quite the uproar and created an atmosphere that makes all our lives that much more harder. CCP does not condone cheating, for sure, but dealing with matters such as this one is not made any easier with all the ruckus.

Yet it seems clear that without the "ruckus," CCP would not have responded. Besides, Kugutsumen is not a CCP employee. He is a community member, and his loyalty is to the community. He pays (paid) for five different accounts -- CCP works for him, not the other way around.

Banning Kugutsumen is based on two violations of the Terms of Service. He made CCP's lives harder (seriously, that's their claim); and he posted the IRL names of the game devs. On the first count, it's not a player's job to make the game creators' lives easier. Clearly, players should not be allowed to interfere with the operation of the game; but this is to keep players from suffering, not devs. And Kugutsumen was trying to protect players, not inconvenience them. He seems to have correctly believed that inconveniencing the devs was not an issue.

On the second count, players should not try to access or disseminate the IRL info of other players. This is a serious issue. But Kugutsumen did not do this. He posted proof that certain characters were being played by devs. Devs are not private citizens -- they are accountable to the community. Kugutsumen did not post their home addresses or anything like that, just their names. I fail to see the harm in this, except insofar as CCP devs prefer to play EVE anonymously.

2.) Did t20 and/or other CCP devs in fact do anything wrong? It seems that by the specific rules laid down by CCP, they did. EVE devs are supposed to play according to the same rules as everyone else.

But a dev is, for all intents and purposes, a game master. They design and run the game. It seems to me that anything a dev does is just "the game." A dev may do something foolish that decreases the fun of the players, but I don't see how it's "cheating." Maybe t20 actually improved game play through his activities, not just for his friends, but for everybody. I don't know.

But I think if someone pointed out some egregious "injustice," and I discovered that the offender was a dev or a GM, I would just say, "oh, it's a GM," and forget about it.

Maybe this just comes from decades of running tabletop role-playing games. But when I was a game master, I certainly didn't like to be second-guessed.

Even if t20 broke company policy, I don't think he should necessarily lose his job. That's a very serious punishment. I certainly think that decision is up to CCP, and not a mob of angry community members.

MMO players spend a lot of time and money on their hobby, and they need to know that the game company is honest and responsive. CCP's problem here was not the "crime," but how they dealt with it. Players must never be treated like an annoyance (even if they are annoying).

Sylvanas Windrunner and the Runnettes!

2007-02-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

Verthandi with Sylvanas Windrunner, Royal Quarter, Undercity. 2-9-07 3:13am.

LotR Online

2007-02-09T17:10:00.000-08:00

I got into the early beta for Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar a while ago. I participated in the first stress test, and then played for a while. Then they did a server wipe, and I haven't had the heart (especially post-"Burning Crusade") to start all over again.

If you haven't read up on it - players can be any of the Free Peoples; Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, and Men. There are various flavors of each of the peoples - for instance, Men consist of both Gondorians and Rohirrim, as well as others like Breelanders. There are variation in each race, and each comes with inherent advantages or disadvantages. Other than racial traits, there are no stats to speak of - and abilities are acquired by leveling in one's profession; minstrel, burglar, captain, guardian, champion, hunter or loremaster. Different races have access to different professions.

Starting quests are a great example of what can be done with something as developed a genre as Middle Earth. As an elf, for instance, you'll help defend a last hold out in Lindon alongside Elrond - and then after the passing of many centuries - return to the vicinity to complete your quest and move on to a new area. They've borrowed a cue from WoW with using quests to usher players from area to area, always remaining level-appropriate. But there are a number of novel concepts, as well.

For instance, there are traits that are earned by accomplishing things in game- my character was known as Angthelion the Wary, for instance, because I made it to Level 4 without dying. Later on, those traits actually confer in-game bonuses, and can be made "official" by telling your story to a bard (and picking the reputation that you want to be known by). Additionally, adventuring parties are known as Fellowships - and classes like minstrels and captains confer advantages to other members of their Fellowship. Guilds are called Companies, and much is done to make not just the environment, but the system as well reflect a very Tolkien feel.

I can't say enough how great an idea it was to have new players interact with elements from the plot of the books in their introductory quests - immediately one is immersed in the Middle Earth-ness of it all, which makes it a stand out property, and distinct from the glut of other MMORPG's. That said, it is done by Turbine, who also did Dungeons and Dragons Online - and the visual engine will look familiar (disappointingly so) to any who, like me - tried DDO and were quickly disenchanted.

I'll write more as my impressions deepen - for now I'd say they succeeded at making something appropriately Middle Earth in quality, but disappointing in terms of game play.

An SWG Player With No Computer

2007-02-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

Hello Folks, This is Kam-RA, aka Faucon Cheerioz... the only "Star Wars Galaxies" player here so far. Yes, I still play SWG. Why? Why, you ask? Well, if it's any consolation, my computer has been down for weeks and I haven't been playing much at all recently.

What's that? You're laughing at me? That's fine. I still enjoy playing the game. It's just like WoW even... you get to walk around forever doing silly quests with friends.

Actually, I don't really play like the walking very much. I prefer to team up with my brother (Nee Cheerioz) and fly in space. Yes, what I love about SWG is that you get to fly in space. Right now, I have a modified version of the same craft that Boba Fett & Jango Fett flew in the movies. I'll get full specs & screen shots when I rebuild my computer this weekend.

Beyond space missions, I'm currently working on the some ground missions on Kashyyyk. When I upgraded to the "Jump to Lightspeed" add-on for SWG, the planet Kashyyyk, along with then entire Galaxy, were made available on my galactic travel map.

The problem really is that I'm a mid-level character who does not get enough grinding love. Luckily though, Nee is a great guide and well, nothing really beats having a master Jedi roll with you. So, I look forward to working hard to level up to 90! Then I'll enter into the PvP realm (and yes... there is PvP space combat!).

So that's that... I plan on adding more this weekend as I get my computer up & running again. With Kunochan's challenge... the incentive to blog is ten-fold stronger!

Cloud vs. Star

2007-02-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

I, like a lot of you, have had a few weeks to play the "Burning Crusade" expansion for "World of Warcraft" now. I've substantially leveled a couple of new characters*, one of each of the new races (Blood Elves and Draenei if you like, have a life or something) and noticed pretty key differences between the two.

It's not really the new abilities or classes that make the difference, but rather the starting areas, and how they relate to quest progression. WoW was an evolutionary step up in MMORPG design in that it had quests that logically flowed by level and race to new areas that were always level-appropriate. Players were not forbidden to go into areas that they're too low level for, but neither did any of their quests necessarily lead them there - exploration was still possible, and even rewarding - but not a part of the leveling chain. Completing quests was substantially more rewarding than just grinding through countless rats and selling their teeth, and also kept you moving from area to area that progressed naturally in terms of both difficulty and reward.

Still, there were many jokes about the "World of Walking" due to a lot of quests involving running back and forth across the same stretch of terrain several times to deliver things. Sure, one could throw the item to be delivered into a sack and complete the quest when it's convenient, but lots of us knocked out one quest at a time. This lead to a lot of wasted time - and by wasted I mean we weren't exploring new areas, or completing quests, or engaging in combat, or even - Light forbid! - doing roleplaying. How many times did you trot across the Crossroads on the Horde side; a vast area that had little to commend itself visually, and less in terms of ease-of-travel?

The developers at Blizzard have learned some lessons, and improved on the design of quests in the expansion, mostly. The starting area for the Draenei resolves this problem; the starting area for the Blood Elves, for the most part, does not. Blood Elves get quests the old-fashioned way; you're given a quest to go to an area and do something (kill things, explore, acquire something, whatever) and then return to complete the quest. Upon completion, another quest opens up, and you head out again - trotting back and forth across the starting zone many times. Sometimes it's possible to pick up several quests and complete them all in one run - but for the most part it's one at a time - the star pattern method. I call it this because your path of travel makes a star, a whole bunch of radial arms emerging from a central point - that central point being the quest giver.

The Draenei, on the other hand, have it easier. You arrive at the area with the quest-givers, and there are many quests to pick up all at once - all of which lead you to the same general geographical area. In that area, there's a cluster of things to do - NPCs to interact with, creeps to slay and loot, stories to advance. It's easy to further a story this way, too - a whole tableau of a situation is presented upon arrival, and through your efforts, the conflict is resolved. Once that cluster of quests is completed, you run back to the central area and turn them all in at once - and either get directed to a new central area, or get a new batch of quests. I call this the cloud method - your path of travel concentrates in a cloud in each place, with a minimum of back-and-forth just traveling.

Now that I've played through most of the starting quests up to level 20 in both starting areas - which they're designed to do with minimum pain and maximum fun - I'd say the cloud method is a lot more appealing. I appreciate the scenery in Azeroth, and WoW's success has a lot to do with how attractive the environment is - but in reality (so to speak!) we're spending a lot of time in the same vicinity, and the novelty of the backdrop wears off after wandering around looking for that fourteenth Mistbat Vampire - or whatever.

This is not to say that the Blood Elves' area is entirely free of anything like quest efficiency - it's just that it's more prevalent, and more carefully laid out for the Draenei. As a result, I just had more fun playing the Draenei character - even if they don't do little spinning moves when they jump up and down. I hope that future releases or content updates for WoW follow more the cloud pattern, and less the star pattern.

*(Draenei - Iri, Blood Elves - Neeky; Both on Korial'strasz. Say hello!)

Because Sex Sells!

2007-02-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

We've all ogled the sexy night-elf dance. I know, you sneer at "naked elf dancing" as a phenomenon as much of any of us, but you still look. And who hasn't had that conversation - about which of the WoW races are the hottest?

Now you can get a closer look. Kotaku Feature has an interview with the makers of a series of hardcore WoW-themed porn movies, called "World of Whorecraft" (totally NSFW!) The interview details producer Dez's struggles with filming porn in full plate armor, of finding stars that are sympathetic to the material (and, according to starlet Hannah Harper, subsequent fascination and addiction), and personal inspiration; Dez has been a gamer for years.

Says Dez, "People play these games and see these sexy elves, but they don't ever get to see the elves have sex," he said. "A lot of people try to roleplay in the game, but I decided to bring it out into the real world and do it right."

Dez claims that the movies are episodic, and include recurring characters - something rare in pornography. They also include bears - something I'm sure equally rare in porn, though entirely too common in Azeroth. I wonder, is there a scene where a character is sent to collect a dozen bear pelts before getting a "reward" of the kind that the average WoW player is quite unlikely to actually collect in or out of the game?

Cosplaying a Blood Elf

2007-02-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

I've decided to start going to work on my very first MMO based cosplay costume. I'm so in love with my blood elf that I believe I'm going to become her!

I recently found these great contacts that I think would be PERFECT for the costume.

These actually glow under black light.

The rest of the costume will soon follow. Any ideas, tricks or advice?!

Award-Winning MMORPG "Pirates of the Burning Sea" UNVEILS NEW WEBSITE!

2007-02-07T21:48:00.000-08:00

(Seattle, WA) January 11, 2007 - Flying Lab Software unveiled a website redesign (www.burningsea.com!) for their award-winning MMORPG Pirates of the Burning Sea, a massively multiplayer online game of swashbuckling adventure on land and sea, set in the Caribbean during the 1720s.

In addition to the brand-new look, the updated Pirates of the Burning Sea website introduced twelve never-before-seen screenshots of breathtaking environments from the game world. The bold site design, launched in tandem with a new Developer Log from Flying Lab Software CEO, Russell Williams, signals the fast approaching June 2007 release date for Pirates of the Burning Sea.

In his Developer Log, Williams writes, "Here at Flying Lab, we're now firmly in the fun part. Our beta releases come out about every 2-3 weeks, and each release dramatically improves the game. This month is a big one for us, as we start rolling in the new avatars into the game, and the Open Sea is about to get a dramatic facelift in both the visuals and in the gameplay. Ship skills are being totally redone, the avatar combat is being finalized, we're adding on yet more richness in our sounds (crew sounds, anybody?) the UI is being (finally!) redone for real, and the art department is kicking ass and taking names. We can't wait till you guys start seeing the new environments, especially the new jungle beach!"

You are invited to check out the new look and see our amazing jungle beach screenshots by visiting our site at www.burningsea.com!

Pirates of the Burning Sea Upgrades Avatars

2007-02-07T21:42:00.000-08:00

You've all heard Eekabeep rant and rave about "Pirates of the Burning Sea" (releasing in June) for ages, but I really have to share this! "Pirates of the Burning" Sea is undergoing dramatic changes to its look, from the environments, lighting, ships, animation and overall vision. The latest change has been an update to the people of the in-game Caribbean, giving them a much better fashion sense, as well as shapes instead of tubes for their bodies. Aw yeah.

Check out the new vs. the old avatars.

Taken from the Art Director's developer log.

And now.. the man that Eekabeep will marry some day....

Hey! That Chick's Not Wearing Underwear!

2007-02-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

Verthandi at Tranquillien, Ghostlands. 2-7-07 6:47pm PST.

"Voyage Century" Contest: Win an nVIDIA Graphics Card

2007-02-07T16:27:00.000-08:00

There's a "Voyage Century" contest at mmorpg.com. Win an nVIDIA graphics card or "Voyage Century" point cards.

You have to register with mmorpg.com to enter. Link.

"Myst Online" -- Kuno's First Impressions

2007-02-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I've played "Myst Online" for a total of about an hour, which is definitely no good for a review. But I can at least give some first impressions.

The game begins with a strident disclaimer to the effect that this is a BETA, not a finished product. So be aware that any complaints I have might be repaired before launch. But since that launch is in eight days... I dunno.

Playing any game through GameTap is a pain in the ass. The GameTap interface is wholly unnecessary from an end-user standpoint -- just give me a web site, and I'll download my games. It's not the worst interface ever, but it's not very good. I don't like being inconvenienced just to protect someone's intellectual property.
"Myst Online" downloaded over 95%, then something went wrong with the download. I restarted GameTap, and it started the download over from the beginning. Niiice.
"You can't spell 'URU' without 'you are you." Yeah, I worked pretty hard to make my avatar look like me. I was not too successful.

OMG, the control scheme. I hate it hate it hate it. I can tell they're trying to do something intuitive and simple, but this is neither. Which way you move depends on which way your avatar is facing, which is seldom the same way the camera is looking. Seriously, folks, the "World of Warcraft" people figured this all out. Also, your control over which way you are looking is limited, especially when your avatar is up against an object -- which means at certain key points, I could not see what my character was seeing. This gets in the way of solving puzzles. It was infuriating.
So far, the environment is not as pretty as the original "Myst." Everything is grainy and coppery. Maybe this has something to do with the game storyline.

The first time I played, I got trapped in the bottom of a ravine, unable to examine my environment sufficiently to get out. When I logged in again later, I was back at the starting point, as if I had made no progress at all. I hope that's a bug.

Still, it's a beta, and I plan to check it out after launch. Stay tuned.

The Coming Pirate MMO Glut

2007-02-07T15:10:00.000-08:00

We've got "Voyage Century." "Grenado Espada" is coming, retitled "Sword of the New World." And "Pirates of the Burning Sea" is on the way.

But if you feel your pirate-based MMO needs still aren't being met, don't fret -- "Pirates of the Caribbean Online" is in the pipe.

Just some thoughts:

MMOs based on films invariably do great. Like "The Matrix Online." And "Star Wars Galaxies." Oh wait, never mind.
Disney's "Virtual Magic Kingdom" solved the potty-mouth problem, not by having a list of words you can't use, but a list of words you can use. It was pretty much impossible to say anything. Will PotCO use the same excellent system?
Will Drug-Addled Effeminate Captain be a player class?

PotCO was originally slated to launch at the same time "Dead Man's Chest" opened last summer. They are now promising it before "At World's End" opens in May. (Chow Yun Fat! w00t!)

If IRL Were An MMO....

2007-02-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a funny column over at mmorpg.com:

It’s Monday morning an you stroll into work, late as usual, greet your fellow co-workers and head to your desk. Out of nowhere some guy from a different department you’ve never seen before runs up and starts punching you and is quickly joined by two of his buddies. You’ve been working at your job a lot longer so none of the punches land and you easily kill two of them before the other runs off cursing about how you cheated. You squat over your assailants and do the running man dance and throw in a bit of ‘the Robot’ for good measure to insure that they are suitably humiliated. Before heading off you loot them for whatever office supplies they had on them to sell to some of the new guys.

Link.

The World of "Whorecraft"

2007-02-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

Kotaku has a full-length feature on "Whorecraft," a series of online pr0n shorts based on D&D and "World of Warcraft."

The author interviews "Dez," the series' creator (nice to see an old D&D player make good) and the women who star in the films.

"People play these games and see these sexy elves, but they don't ever get to see the elves have sex," he said. "A lot of people try to roleplay in the game, but I decided to bring it out into the real world and do it right."

Link (sfw)

Thanks to DasWookie!

WoW Is A Rip-off Of "Warhammer Online," NOT The Other Way Around!

2007-02-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

For some time now, I've been planning to write a post on this topic. This discussion thread on mmorpg.com nudged me into finally doing it.

I've been a gamer since the earliest days of anything that can properly be called "gaming." My first video game was Pong. My first computer was a TRS-80. My first role-playing game was “blue book” D&D. My first anime was Macross. I’m the original paleogamer.

I played all the great Games Workshop games; "Warhammer Fantasy Battle," Warhammer 40,000," "Space Hulk," "Blood Bowl," and "Talisman." "Chaos Marauders" is one of the greatest games of all time, and I still play it.

I've also followed the efforts of the Blizzard folks, who have yet to make a bad game. "Lost Vikings" 1 & 2, "Warcraft" 1-3, "StarCraft," "Diablo" 1&2, and "World of Warcraft." Hell, I even played "StarCraft: Ghost" at Blizzcon.

That said, I can assure all you young Padawan gamer n00bs that "Warcraft" is a direct and obvious rip-off of "Warhammer." I have been informed by a reliable source that in the beginning, this was intentional -- Blizzard and Games Workshop had an abortive relationship. But much if not most of the look, feel, and characterization of the "Warcraft" universe was at least inspired by the "Warhammer" universe.

Am I criticizing Blizzard in saying this? Nah. It's really not a big deal. It's all just a rip-off of Tolkien anyway. And Blizzard has certainly developed the "Warcraft" franchise into its own original, massive creative endeavor. The two legendaria have evolved in different directions; the "Warcraft" universe features serious storylines intermixed with light comedy and anachronisms, while "Warhammer" is noted for dark comedy in a grim and gritty world. At this point, saying that Azeroth is a ripoff of the World of Warhammer is just sniping.

What's annoying is when uneducated howards, munchkins, n00bs and trolls complain that "Warhammer Online" rips off "World of Warcraft." You know, because WoW was published first. Let's ignore the fact that each game is part of a legacy of games.

They also complain that WOAR's control scheme mimicks the WoW interface. No god, I should hope so! WoW has the best interface of any MMO I've played to date. Please, MMO publishers, steal WoW's interface. I'm begging you.

In conclusion, WoW is a great game, indeed my favorite game of the moment. But it's a rip-off of "Warhammer." And I am very much looking forward to "Warhammer Online."

If WoW Were Made By A Korean Company

2007-01-31T18:25:00.001-08:00

Someone called "meteo" on the mmosite.com fora has posted a list called "If WoW Was [sic] Made By A Korean Company."

The jokes are hit or miss, but some are pretty funny...

If WoW was made by a Korean company... almost everybody would have a cute little pet.
If WoW was made by a Korean company... there would be many grammatical errors and typos in its text.
If WoW was made by a korean company... it would be marketed and advertised to preteens.
If WoW was made by a korean company... it would have two versions, the Korean version and the "International Version." The International Version would be used strictly to fund and add content to the Korean Version.
If WoW was made by a korean company... PVP would consist of two individuals. -- the LONGEST PLAYING PLAYER vs THE PLAYER WITH MONEY.
If wow was made by a Korean Company... female character models would have chests larger than their heads, with plenty of detail and animation around that area.
If wow was made by a Korean Company... the emotes would not be performed by your character, rather a chat bubble would pop up with a "cutsie" anime face performing the emotion.
If wow was made by a Korean Company... there would be three hair styles, three colors, and three face styles.

Linkage.

eBay Finally Bans Gold Sales -- Chinese Economy Collapses

2007-01-31T18:02:00.000-08:00

The ongoing war to put an end to organized cheating in MMOs has seen another victory.

Online auction house eBay is finally implementing their own policies, and "delisting" any attempt to sell in-game items and currency that does not have the specific permission of the copyright holder, i.e. the game publisher.

While I'm not usually a big fan of copyright enforcement when it gets in the way of consumer fair use, this is a special case. Gold farmers and their customers don't contribute to a game -- they destroy it, cheating in a way that ruins the enjoyment for other users.

The issue of who owns virtual property is an important and complex one, and I'd hate to see game companies abusing copyright law to control intellectual property created by users. But that's not what is happening here.

I also dislike it when eBay bans auctions to satisfy the wishes of some corporation -- for instance, when I couldn't sell my Japanese Dreamcast on eBay. My Dreamcast was a block of atoms that I had purchased fair and square. I owned it, and I had the right to sell it.

But when a region-locked console gets sold by a consumer, no one is hurt, not even the console manufacturer enforcing the policy. Gold farming hurts everyone.

eBay FTW.

LOTRO - The First "Web 2.0" MMO

2007-01-31T17:40:00.000-08:00

Blogger Nabeel Hyatt posted a brief round-up of the new and special "web 2.o" features offered by "The Lord of the Rings Online." He's specifically impressed by the Google-style mapping, mini-games, wiki-style encylopedia, and the pre-order features.

Linky.

"Lineage" Players Hold PvP Brawl In Meatspace -- Hey, That Kid's Probably Not Gonna Respawn

2007-01-31T17:14:00.000-08:00

"Lineage 2" player Alexander Ponamorenko was arrested and charged with beating to death fellow player Alexander Blyoskin, during a real-world brawl between online guilds in a Moscow cafe.

According to police, 22-year old Blyoskin tried to interfere in a fight between between 30 members of a "Lineage 2" guild and a single member of a rival guild. Some witnesses reported that the Ukrainian Ponamorenko stomped on Blyoskin's head.

Surprisingly, Blyoskin did not drop any items, and failed to respawn. Ponamorenko faces a 15-year jail sentence.

"Lineage 2" is NCsoft's fantasy MMORPG launched in 2003. NCsoft claims 14 million customers for the game.

WoW Census

2007-01-29T15:26:00.000-08:00

Just like in real life, the citizens of Azeroth are watched and calculated! Want to find out how many belfs roam Silvermoon City? Want to know how many Paladins trade in Ironforge?

Check out Warcraft Realms to see what YOUR server consists of!

Look At Me! I Have A Tabard of the Frost!

2007-01-28T13:09:00.000-08:00

The items you can collect by collecting points from "World of Warcraft CCG" cards are mostly pretty lame. I mean, wallpaper? Please. Nothing like the prizes you get from loot cards. God, I want a turtle mount.

But I did get the exclusive Tabard of the Frost. I don't know what it represents, except "hey, I bought a lot of CCG cards." Or in my case, "hey, I got a lot of free CCG cards through work."

But I'm in love with the idea of in-game items that other people can't have. Why, oh why when I was at Blizzcon did I not get a murloc pet Murky?

Anyway, here's a pic of my 18th level Human Paladin with her Tabard of the Frost. She had to go to Booty Bay to get it, which at her level meant swimming in the ocean all the way from Westfall. (Trying to walk there would have gotten her killed.)

Unfortunately, I'm planning to pretty much stop playing this character, and focus on my Blood Elf Warlock. I should have given the Tabard to her -- she's a fashion junkie.

"Myst Online" Launches February 15th

2007-01-26T10:42:00.000-08:00

Huh. I'm not sure "Myst" needed an MMORPG. What's next, "Tetris?" But I'd gladly be proven wrong.

February 15th has been announced as the launch date for "Myst Online: Uru Live," Cyan's MMO based on the popular "Myst" series of slide-based puzzle-solving games from the '90s. The beta is currently available to GameTap subscribers, and Cyan is offering a special rate of 99 cents for the first month of GameTap service. The game will be available on GameTap and stand-alone, for both PC and Mac.

It appears the game is designed to let you create an avatar that looks just like you, which might be pretty cool.

As far as I can tell, it's all puzzle-solving, and no combat. It'll be interesting to see how that works out.

"Lord of the Rings Online" Pre-Order: Beta Key, Discount Membership, Exclusive Items

2007-01-25T13:56:00.000-08:00

I just purchased the "Lord of the Rings Online" pre-order. Normally, I wouldn't pay $50 for an MMO, and now I've done it twice in the last week.

But here's what you get with the pre-order:

The LOTRO box and CD set
Membership in the Open Beta
The ability to bring your beta character over after full launch
Special pricing after full launch: $9.99/month, or $199 lifetime
In-game items: Enchanted Cloak of Regeneration & The Ring of Agility
Free 30-day access to Allakhazam.com’s Premium Service

Pretty l33t. You can pre-order online today -- the pre-order will hit retail stores on February 1st. The commercial launch is slated for April 24th.

Bado na Ennorath!

GameDaily's "Women of WoW" -- Separated at Birth?

2007-01-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

GameDaily has a hilarious little feature comparing the female avatars of "World of Warcraft" with real-life celebrity counterparts.

I think Draenei females are damn not, though I wonder if Charlize Theron would appreciate the comparison. And Natalie Portman as a gnome? That's just not cool.

A troll female and Pink -- separated at birth?

"City of Heroes" Issue #9: "Breakthrough"

2007-01-24T16:03:00.001-08:00

The upcoming patch for "City of Heroes" and "City of Villains" introduces Inventions, aka crafting. Which means you can finally play that gadgeteer character you always dreamed aboout.

And after you've created unique armor, weapons and gadgets, what can you do with them? Sell them at the new Auction House, of course!

When will the patch be made available? NCsoft isn't saying. We'll keep you posted.

"Granado Espada" Is Now "Sword of the New World" For Xenophobic Americans

2007-01-24T13:10:00.000-08:00

Korea's popular historical-fantasy MMORPG "Granado Espana" is coming to America retitled as "Sword of the New World."

As an American myself, who lives in "Los Angeles" and works in "Santa Monica," I'm so glad I won't have to wrap my tongue around that unwieldy Portuguese, and instead can wrap my tongue around some unwieldy English.

"Granado" is a gorgeously beautiful MMO created by "Ragnarok Online's" Hakkyu Kim. Set in a fantasy version of the Renaissance-era New World, "Granado" allows players to control up to three avatars simultaneously.

Developer K2 Network promises that "Sword of the New World" will be more than an English-language port of the original Korean game. SotNW will feature hundreds of costume options, an improved control scheme and an in-game tutorial to teach the multiple character controls. In addition, the game will include an all-new story with hundreds of new quests.

The launch of SotNW is planned for Summer 2007. If you're impatient, you can always play the international English version of "Granado Espada" out of Singapore.

"Star Trek Online" Launches Web Site, Kind Of

2007-01-23T23:39:00.000-08:00

"Star Trek Online" has launched their "web site," a single page featuring an updated Starfleet insignia and a button to input your email address for updates. And that's it.

w00t.

Personally, I think STO is going to have the same problem that afflicted "Star Trek"-based tabletop RPGs -- how do you recreate the command structure of a starship bridge? Who wants to volunteer to be an ensign, rather than captain?

If they can solve that problem, this MMO could be pretty cool. Especially now that the MMO for that Other Great American Sci-Fi Franchise has gone all to hell.

"Second Life" Proves It: Capitalism Is a FRAUD

2007-01-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

&lt;br>Valleywag has posted a examination of "Second Life's" virtual economy by a real, live financial consultant who actually investigated what happens when you use Linden dollars as an investment to make real dollars. He characterizes the Linden economy as a "pyramid scheme," because the richest people at the top determine exactly how much money the investors at the bottom can pull out.

It turns out that inside the game, counterparty risk is tremendous. In fact, entire banks will suddenly disappear. Or banks will simply renege on obligations without recourse. Worse yet, the very people who provide the source of nearly all demand-liquidity within Second Life, those guys at the top of the virtual playpen pyramid, are the same ones who effectively set the SLL/USD exchange rate.

Basically, "Second Life" advertises huge returns in Linden dollars on your investment in US dollars; then they promise you can turn those voluminous Linden dollars back into real cash. It all works, until you try to pull your money out. Then the handful of wealthy SL denizens who control the market change the exchange rate, only letting you have a tiny return on your investment.

The joke of course is this is exactly like real-world capitalism. The SL economy is just an extreme model of a real capitalist economy, minus the few tepid socialist restrictions real governments put in place. The American economy is controlled by a handful of very wealthy individuals, who manipulate markets and lawmakers to protect their wealth and to stifle possible competition. There's no "meritocracy," because the very wealthy will always cheat.

They don't necessarily cheat because they are bad people (although some of them surely are) -- they cheat because the capitalist "ethic" tells them that protecting their own interests is best for everyone, and if they don't do it, someone else will.

Remember -- what this consultant labels a "Ponzi scheme" was not designed that way by the creators of "Second Life." It's just what happens when a few people become very powerful, and look out for their own interests. And unlike in a capitalist model like "EVE Online," SL players believe they are protecting real money. So they act like real plutocrats.

Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where ONLY game players were allowed to behave this way?

Player Makes WoW Cash Through Prostitution -- No, Really

2007-01-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

&lt;br>In a story about gold farmers, a Korean online newspaper mentions the adventures of Rob Conzelman of Philadelphia, whose WoW character "VillageBike," earns gold as a prostitute. She stands outside of inns wearing nothing but a bikini, and other players pay her to go upstairs and lie down on a bed so they can lie down on top of her.

I have to admit that VillageBike looked hot even on my extremely low-resolution screen. She could compete with Lara Croft -- the first and most successful attempt at profiting from horny gamers -- any day. Before long, a level 20 Mage approached with a predictable clunker: "Village bike, huh? Can I take you for a ride?" he asks. "Sure thing, baby, we can take this party upstairs for 5g," answered....

Why do I have a feeling only 14-year-old n00bs are paying for this?

Conzelman has a column on Dragonfire [warning: heinous, deplorable, and wholly unnecessary Flash interface), and discusses his activities there. Conzelman claims he could earn $4 real-world an hour this way, although he doesn't reveal if he actually has.

And you thought this kind of thing only happened on "Second Life."

Sideshow Collectibles Announces WoW Figures

2007-01-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

"Thousand Oaks, CA (January 18, 2007) - High-end collectible manufacturer Sideshow Collectibles has joined forces with leading game developer Blizzard Entertainment® to produce a ground breaking new line of licensed high-end collectible polystone figures and dioramas. The original sculptures will be based on the world's leading subscription-based massively multiplayer online role-playing game: World of Warcraft®, and its highly anticipated expansion World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade™."

Can we say HOLY ISHT!?! Sideshow Collectibles is one of the most detailed and amazing creators of high end sculptures on earth.

For those of you unfamiliar with Sideshow Collectibles.... take a gander at some of their most recent creations:

So, let's place bets... who do you think will be the first character created!?

A Blood Elf ..... perhaps!?

(Photoshop by Aktrez)

"9Dragons" Dynasty Ending Before It Begins

2007-01-22T23:36:00.000-08:00

According to a note on their web site, Persistent Worlds is going out of business, spelling death for their beta Asian martial arts MMO, "9Dragons."

Oh well. I could never get past the first quest in "9Dragons" anyway. But perhaps one day there will be a great martial arts MMO.

One day.

"Get A First Life" -- Kewl Parody of "Second Life"

2007-01-22T01:25:00.000-08:00

Here's a very cool one-page parody of "Second Life."

Even cooler is the ""Proceed and Permitted" letter the creator got from Linden Labs. Nice to know that some people get it.

Via BoingBoing.

European BC Launch Events WAAAY More Interesting Than American

2007-01-22T00:47:00.000-08:00

Here is a gallery of pictures from European "Burning Crusade" launch events.

Looks like these events were a lot more fun -- cosplay, crowd signs, all sorts of shenanigans.

CoX Double XP Next Weekend!

2007-01-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

"City of Heroes" and "City of Villains" will have a Double XP Weekend, from Friday, January 26th at 10pm GMT (2pm PST) to Sunday, January 28th at 10pm GMT.

Earn double EP, and level up twice as fast! w00t!

Link

Kuno's "EVE Rocks" Submission

2007-01-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

I coudn't resist entering the "EVE Rocks" contest. Here is a closeup of my entry -- you can see the whole thing by clicking on it.

Clicky to enlarge.

You can check out the submissions here.

EVE Vault Photo & Photoshop Contest

2007-01-19T15:47:00.000-08:00

The EVE Vault at IGN has announced their "EVE Rocks Contest" for 2007. Contestants must create a photograph, either real or Photoshopped, of the words "EVE Rocks" displayed in a prominent public place.

The grand prize is a year's subscription to EVE and a $25 EVE store gift cetrificate.

Personally, I think there has got to be a better slogan to show your love of "EVE Online" than "EVE Rocks." Like maybe, "EVE: My Second Job!" or "EVE: Djöfulsins Helvíti!"

WoW Player Levels To 70 In 28 Hours

2007-01-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

Well, it had to happen. A French player called “Gullerbone” was the very first player to reach level 70 in “World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade,” just 28 hours after the expansion was released. Gullerbone and his guildmates used an exploit called “tap-leveling” to achieve this monumental feat.

Let me explain tap-leveling to those who don’t play WoW. You see, and this is a bit complicated, so pay attention and let me know if you don’t understand anything… HE CHEATED.

If you must know more, there's a brief interview on mmosite.com.

"Burning Crusade" Hardware Performance Guide

2007-01-18T19:21:00.000-08:00

Gamespot has an excellent article called the "Burning Crusade Hardware Performance Guide." They played with BC's video settings while running it on a GeForce 6600 GT, and compared the results.

I was happy to see that BC runs just as well with 1GB RAM as with 2GB. I have 1.5GB on my machine.

Look at the difference between Terrain Distance Min. and Terrain Distance Max.:

Yipes.

Why Do MMO Players Hate Role-Playing?

2007-01-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

&lt;br>About a year ago, and I was playing my female natural stalker, Lucy Liunatic, in “City of Villains.” I was in the Pocket D zone, where villains have to hook up with hero characters from “City of Heroes” in order to complete missions.

Now, I don’t normally bother to role-play in MMOs, primarily because no one else does. CoX doesn’t have role-playing servers, so there’s really no role-playing going on.

Nonetheless, I decided to be cute, and make my requests for hero partners “in character.”

[Broadcast] Lucy Liunatic: I am looking for weak-willed, morality-addled so-called “heroes” to serve me on a mission.
[Broadcast] Lucy Liunatic: If you serve me, then when I rule Paragon City, your death shall be quick and painless!

Most people ignored me, because pretty much every character in Pocket D at that time was a villain. But after a couple minutes I started to get angry responses. One player complained that I had insulted him. Another told me he was going to report me to the gamemasters for offensive behavior.

Players were upset that I was acting like a villain. In a game called “City of Villains.”

WTF???

I started playing table-top roleplaying games back in a decade with a “7” in it. I remember when the only MMORPG was the original MUD. I lived through D&D, “Tunnels & Trolls,” AD&D, “Ultima,” “Wizardy,” “Traveller,” “Gamma World,” “Paranoia,” GURPS, “Champions,” “DC Heroes,” “Warhammer FRP,” “Warhammer 40K,” “Fantasy Hero,” TMNT, “Marvel Super Heroes,” “Space 1889,” “Shadowrun” and the entire World of Darkness.

The most annoying type of RPG player was the “power gamer.” This person cared nothing about the plot, characterization, or any other aspect of role-playing – he (never she) only wanted to build the most powerful character possible under the rules (often by tweaking and deliberate misinterpretation), and then level up as quickly as possible.

The majority of role-playing gamers considered power gamers to be losers. They were usually annoying teenage newbies anyway. The whole point of a role-playing game was role-playing, oddly enough; so power gamers were often met with hostility and frustration.

But role-playing is rare in 3D graphical MMORPGs, the acronym notwithstanding. This isn’t because computer games are poor role-playing environments; online games like “EverQuest” and “Vampire: The Masquerade – Redemption” are popular with real role-players.

Other games, like CoX, don’t encourage role-playing in their communities, so very little of it exists. Of WoW’s 222 servers, only 16 are designated as “RP” servers, with specific rules designed to promote role-playing.

The fact is, the power gamer is the norm in the world of MMOs, while role-players are the minority. As I said, I have no problem with this. Role-playing online seems awkward to me.

What I don’t understand is the hostility towards role-players. Try to role-play, even in jest, on a WoW non-RP server, and you will be ridiculed. Bring up the subject with MMO players IRL, and you will get laughter and baffled looks.

Pro gamer Jared “cha0ticz” Cugno suggested to me that MMOs have been overrun by casual gamers, aka “normal” people, who are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the whole idea of role-playing. They don’t want to be seen as the kind of geek who paints lead miniatures and goes to conventions dressed as their character; so they view anyone who reminds them of such behavior as the enemy.

This hypothesis has the ring of truth to me. But the fact is, there is absolutely no reason MMOs can’t support both styles of play, even on the same server. Just let people play how they want to play, and understand that there’s nothing “weird” about role-playing.

WoW wouldn’t exist without "Warcraft," which wouldn't exist without "Warhammer," which wouldn’t exist without D&D. Get used to it.

Ten Things to Do While Waiting for WoW to Patch

2007-01-17T17:55:00.000-08:00

1.) Make a tangy three-bean soup.
2.) Take care of your calluses and corns.
3.) Prevent carpal tunnel syndrome.
4.) Carve a gourd into a birdhouse.
5.) Make a starship Enterprise out of a floppy disk.
6.) Learn to read Old Icelandic.
7.) Annotate your copy of “Moby Dick,” paying special attention to passages that support the theme of “the deceptiveness of fate.”
8.) Give yourself a home henna tattoo.
9.) Give yourself a home real tattoo.
10.) Experience spitirual enlightenment by drilling a hole in your own head.

"Burning Crusade" Collector's Edition

2007-01-16T18:44:00.001-08:00

Thanks to Jason “Unholy” Carlton, who stood in line at Fry’s while we were freezing to death at Citywalk last night, we have a precious, precious copy of the now unavailable “Burning Crusade Collector’s Edition” box set.

Jason paid $69.99 at Fry’s. If you still want one, you can pay $169.99 on Amazon, or $560 on eBay.

For your extra cash, you get:

A big ol’ green cardboard box.
The expansion on both DVD (1 disc) and CD (4 discs).
A behind-the-scenes DVD, to dispel the dreams of those of you who imagine it’s fun to make video games.
The hardcover “The Art of World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade,” which is very beautiful with high-quality printing. If you paid $69.99, this was well worth the additional $30. If you paid more, well…
A code for a Netherwhelp, the exclusive in-game pet, and the only reason I wanted the Collector’s Edition. Now I have to get my turtle.
TCG starter packs. For those of us who want the turtle.
A mouse pad with a map of Outland printed on it. No sign of Opus the Penguin, though.
A soundtrack CD. Trust me, you’ll be hearing enough of this music while you play.

Becky "Aktrez" Young with the "Burning Crusade" Collector's Edition.

If any of you bought the CE, please let us know what you think of it in the fora!

"Burning Crusade" Midnight Launch!

2007-01-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

Last night hundreds of fans stood for hours in sub-freezing temperatures to be the first to buy “Burning Crusade,” the first ever expansion for “World of Warcraft.” Also braving the Arctic temperatures were iTG’s Hogan “kam-RA” Carter & Rance “djRoME” Costa, as well as your faithful correspondent, Avataritoria’s Erik “Kunochan” Even.

By midnight, roughly 250 people were in line at the EB Games on Universal City’s storied Citywalk. The earliest arrivals had been waiting since 8:30am, but most arrived sometime after 5:00pm. EB employees worked the line and gave out prizes such as t-shirts and posters, while Blizzard reps set up the booth where WoW developers would sign “Burning Crusade” collector’s edition boxes.

We interviewed dozens of fans, and these clips will be featured on “Epileptic Gaming” this Thursday. I did learn few important facts:

1. Some people do actually care about the plot and characters of “World of Warcraft.”
2. No one, and I mean no one, actually role-plays in WoW, “MMORPG” notwithstanding.
3. Many WoW players actually have jobs. But the best way to level-up fast is to be a home-schooled teenager.
4. Lots of fans are disappointed because BlizzCon was too expensive.
5. Horde FTW.
6. Undead females are sexier than Tauren females.

Click here to see all the pics, hosted by GGL.com!

Warning: Fry's Electronics Is Trying to Kill You

2007-01-15T15:27:00.001-08:00

Everyone who lives within 50 miles of a Fry's Electronics knows they are the ultimate manifestation of malevolent evil on Earth. They don't just have bad service -- they're customer hostile. But you shop there because (1) they have everything, (2) their prices are good, and (3) they drove all the competition out of business.

But this is the text I saw on a sign at Fry's this past December:

WARNING: Fry's Electronics purchase receipts are printed on carbonless paper. Carbonless paper may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.

So they're not just trying to drive you mad. They also want to kill you.

Just fair warning to everyone planning to head down and get "Burning Crusade" tonight.

EB Games Midnight Openings for "Burning Crusade"

2007-01-15T15:06:00.000-08:00

For all of you who don't live in California, here is a list of every EB Games store that will be open at midnight tonight.

Have fun in the cold! I know I will!

Burning Crusade Midnight Live Events

2007-01-15T14:19:00.000-08:00

Happy National Burning Crusade Day! (Oh, there's something about some civil rights guy too.)

The lines are already forming to be the first to buy the "Burning Crusade" expansion when it goes on sale at midnight tonight, January 16th 2007 at 12:01 am.

All these events are in California, so if you don't live here, you are a LOSER.

Fry's Fountain Valley pops	10800 Kalama River Ave Fountain Valley, CA 92708	4500 copies
Fry's Anaheim pops	3370 E. La Palma Ave Anaheim, CA 92806	4500 copies
Fry's Sunnyvale pops	1077 E. Arques Ave Sunnyvale, CA 94085	4500 copies
Universal Citywalk Gamestop/EB Games pops	1000 Universal Studios Blvd (Cross Street: Buddy Holly Drive) Universal City, CA 91608	1500 copies

Blizzard has promised some developer-celebrity action at the Citywalk store. We will be at that location tonight, so we'll see. Check back tomorrow for coverage and pics.

Here's the one thing that SUCKS about the BC launch:

We are not offering online purchase or download of The Burning Crusade at this time.

It seems like some people just don't understand the Internet. Even people who produce one of the most popular Internet products.

Why do I have to leave my house, go to a store, and purchase atoms in order to upgrade my online game? I'm sure this all fulfills some arcane marketing or financial need on Blizzard's part -- but does it fulfill any needs for the user? No, it does not. It just makes us go out in the cold and stand in line. It makes us prop up EB Games' failing business model.

Thanks, Blizzard. I'm still levelling my Undead Rogue and my Human Paladin. Maybe I'll wait for Burning Crusade until it's a free download.

Who would you go home with?
	Your ability to form a complete sentence is a plus.
	I'm the type of girl my mother warned me about.
	I won't fall for any bad pick up line. You got to try 2 or 3 at least.
	My turn offs are rude people, mean people and people who aren't nice.
	Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Good, bring ample supply of butter and Goblin Jumper Cables.
	When enraged, and in heat, a female troll can mate over 80 times in one night. Are you prepared?
	You'll do. Let's go!
	Normally I only ride on epic mounts, but let's talk.
	I can't wait to suck the juice out of your eyeballs.
	I'm tired of the same old bull!

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